Sara Baartman lives and breathes in 2021| The era of “just for sex” girls.

What Saartjie was subjected to, centuries ago hasn’t stopped and by the looks of things, is far from even being considered wrong and inhumane in our society.

Just yesterday I was talking about seeing this woman I went to primary school with and how she hasn’t changed, even her walk is still the same. As I was busy explaining her soldiers-march-like walk, somebody volunteered information about her, to shame her I suppose. “She’s is every working man’s play thing when they are home for a visit and find themselves bored”, we were told. A long list of men, some of whom are blood relatives and friends were mentioned. They are very proud of having a woman’s body as a playground, so proud of this in fact that they brag about it to younger siblings and nephews. Why is this normal? Why is this acceptable?

Just two days ago in a taxi, coming home from town, two young girls seated behind me were casually talking about D appointments and how it’s far easier to negotiate protection and roughness if you’re a willing participant. My stomach couldn’t handle it. We have always thought that the high infection rate and prevalence among 15-24 year old girls and young women was because of sugar daddies and blessers. I suppose It is easier to put the responsibility solely on the girls and young women and let these men continue “being boys” huh!

I appeal to Social Scientists to explore a little before choosing research topics, just look around, observe patterns of behaviour and quietly listen to conversations without raising alarm , arguments or judgement when the key populations are having candid conversations. I bet my favourite pair of shoes that all these so-called “loose” girls in our communities, who proudly make D appointments and talk openly about these have been through a lot and this is a way of protecting themselves from being brutally attacked. If 90% of the women I interact regularly with have experienced sexual assault at least once in their lives, chances are a lot of men have committed sexual assault and worse, they see nothing wrong with it.

The nonchalant way that men discuss running a train on someone, packaging girls from night clubs and gigs, etc. is indicative of a bigger societal issue, which is the normalization of brutalizing women. How will we ever end GBV if men see nothing wrong with assaulting women? Where do we even start to address this?

So as I cried myself to sleep last night, my thoughts and prayers were for the present day Sarah Baartman and (in the words of uncle Keith Glass) for a permanent solution to be found. Surely God intended for us to be more than just tools for men’s sexual enjoyment and their punching bags.


GBV| The shame of being violated and fear of being stigmatized

Feeling ashamed for being violated, confession time!

Our satellite dish is broken – thanks to this weather, so naturally we are listening to Ukhozi fm with Ma.

OSgqemeza had me triggered this morning and the lady (from Isolezwe) who was harassed at the taxi rank, reporting and speaking about her ordeal gave me courage.

Yvette told me that I didn’t need to talk about my situation, when I expressed my inability to unveil the many incidences of sexual harassment that I have endured, which are no doubt not unique to me, seing as south Africa is the world’s capital of sexual harassment.

This gave me temporary comfort. I say temporary because my chosen path is talking about things.

When I share about something, I get to release the pain and anger. Thus closing the chapter forever.

I used to stay at St Francis College when I started working for the Diocese and that short walk from the cottages to the bishop’s house was treacherous. I would be praying not to bump into a certain person who terrorized me, touched me inappropriately and tried to kiss me every chance he got, AGAINST MY WILL.

I was too embarrassed to speak out and report him. What haunts me is the thought that he might still be working there, around school girls. I wonder if my silence hasn’t caused other people to suffer, which I could have prevented by exposing him.

One of my former colleagues at the Diocese had been harassed whilst on a site visit with her supervisor and she reported the matter, resulting in her supervisor being fired. The sentiment around the office was that she didn’t like & had gotten rid of her boss. Painting her as a bad, vindictive person.

It’s for this reason that I found it extremely daunting and depressing to report Zamo to the bishop, after he forced his tongue into my mouth. My office was in an isolated place, away from the rest of the secretariat. I opted to keep my doors locked from that day onwards and to stop greeting people with a smile, because it was clearly being misinterpreted as flirting and an invitation for sexual harassment.

The stigma and distrust directed towards victims who report these perpetrators, especially in the absence of witnesses is enough to keep women and girls silent. The embarrassment we feel when someone defiles and dehumanizes us is enough to keep us silent.

The lack of confidentiality when these matters are handled doesn’t help the situation either.

When I stayed at Station Place, in Pretoria a lot of exciting development was taking place around town. {Station Square was built, meaning that I didn’t have to walk 2km to do my grocery shopping.}

Another exciting thing happened, Osbro opened on the same street as our flat and it became my hang-out spot on Saturdays. I would go isle to isle, combing the whole store for cookware, silverware, gifts for birthdays and weddings, you name it.

Window shopping at Osbro became my favorite passtime until some guy fondled my breasts in full view of EVERYONE and nobody came to my rescue. They simply passed by and minded their own business, inspite of my shouting and screaming.

I got a feeling that the staff were more interested in whether or not I broke any of their stock in my rage.
I never went back to that store again after the incident.
It worries me that we live in a country where harassment is not frowned upon. It has been so normalized that people think you’re throwing a tantrum when you defend yourself against a pervert.

How else can we get men to grasp the depth and seriousness of this situation? How can we get you guys to be our allies?
How can we make this country safe for women and girls?



AmaBishop Episode 12 Review

This is my review of AmaBishop Episode 12

Hello online friends.

Hheyi! #AmaBishop 

The Bishop Makamu episode showed us who these people really are. We saw flames🔥

Makamu fed us a half-baked story that makes no sense. He said that he had apologized to his wife and the girl’s family but then he did nothing wrong. He was asking for keys from the girl. This man thinks we were born yesterday. Why would you apologize for asking for ‘keys’.

Makhado and Nimrod kept on pressing him about the inconsistencies in his story vs the recording. He failed to answer their questions.

Maponga and Phiri were very quick to jump to his defense. Suspiciously so. I just wonder what stories we’ll one day hear about them🤔

The things they’ve always spoken against on this show were now all of a sudden okay and in fact biblically supported. Calling people “Papa” is now a good thing, according to Maponga and Phiri.

The girl’s father was then interviewed by Nimrod and his story makes a whole lot of sense. It’s straightforward and asidingi ruler.

People will still believe the pastor over the victim, because we think that they hold the key to heaven.

I wish they could bring Solomon and Sihle back to replace Phiri and Maponga. I no longer trust their input. They lost all credibility last night, especially when Maponga apologized on behalf of all the pastors who have mistreated people blah blah blah…
How do you apologize on behalf of people who don’t recognize that they have done wrong? People who do not feel any remorse for the horrible things that they do!

Hhai miss me with the BS



AmaBishop episode 10 Review| Pastors who are abusive in their own families

AmaBishop episode 10 Review| Pastors who are abusive in their own families

Hello online friends. Thank you for lending me your ears once more.

Guys, what’s an armor bearer? I ask this because it seemed like everybody on AmaBishop episode 10 knew what an armor bearer was.

Anyway, I said I was done with this show but today as I was minding my own business I came across the repeat and took it as a sign that I must watch and share with you all. So here it is:

The focus was on pastors who abuse their own families or rather wives who have been abused by their pastor-husbands.

The Ohlsons

Mrs Lisinda Ohlson was the first guest. She was with her husband’s brother, who hadn’t been in contact with her and the brother for over 10 years until his nephew posted about the disastrous marriage of his parents on Facebook. She spoke of the viagra, condoms, sex tapes with 5 members of the congregation, threats and how Bishop Theo Noble to whom her husband was a body guard refused to help her.

Phiri’s only contribution was that he knows and has worked with Theo Noble🙄.

The second guest, Nthabi Montsho-Mngoma highlighted the fact that abusive pastors are not only to be found in charismatic churches, but that mainline churches are not exempt. She and her children were beaten up by the pastor husband and father.

The Methodist pastor she was married to also slept around with Wesley guild ladies and impregnated some of them. The oppression from the women in the church who wouldn’t allow her to speak out about her situation made things worse for her and the ‘abantu bazothini’ complex aided by our repressive cultural norms and practices.

They cut her off just as the story was getting interesting, she decided to fight back, in her words: “I beat the hell out of him that day”.

The 3rd guest, Meisi broke my heart into a million little pieces and then Nimrod had to constantly remind us of the right of reply that all the “accused” have. This, because the alleged perpetrator is Bishop Zondo, whom they treated with kid gloves and failed to extract answers from a few episodes back.

She is Zondo’s niece and she narrated her story in so much detail and so vividly. It happened when she was only 7 years old but she remembers it as if it has just taken place. I don’t even want to retell it.

The family on the other hand felt like she created a mess by talking about her abuse, not the alleged perpetrator. #AmaBishop


Is Nonku Williams the queen of #REALHOUSEWIVESOFDURBAN?

All hail, Nonku Williams!

My dearest online friends, I am having severe withdrawal symptoms. Let’s unpack Season 1 of the Real Housewives of Durban further, this time focusing on the viewers’ queen!

From the 2-part reunion, it would appear so. I still want to know who did the casting for this show. Yesterday’s episodes confirmed that the plan was to attack Ayanda Ncwane all along. From the time Nonku mentioned “the elephant in the room”, I knew that this show was trying to use Ayanda’s loss and pain for ratings.
This was in very bad taste. Poor judgment on the casting of Sfiso’s widow and baby mama. Pitting black people (women, mothers, Christians…) against each other was a wicked plot to begin with.

Kahlekahle, because Ayanda didn’t react the way they had anticipated in the first two episodes, they had to bring in the self-proclaimed Queen, Nonku’s mom to the reunion to try once more to get Ayanda to act out of character. I thought I would wake up feeling differently about this today but nope. Thank God Phupho was there.

Speaking of Phupho, did you catch the age-difference shade by Nonku when Ayanda said that she knew that Phupho was gay from when he was aged 2? Nonku was a very good pretender, until her true colors finally showed.

I think moghel wishes Sifiso had married her instead of Ayanda.  Sifiso adored Ayanda and made it a point that the whole world knew. And was it necessary to tell us that she was a virgin at age 21? What does Ayanda have to do with Nonku’s virginity?

Did anybody else cringe when they played the video call in the bathtub scene with Mr Atlanta? Nonku tries too hard. She wants the fame at all costs. If that’s what it takes to be crowned the queen of #RHODurban, Nonku is definitely it.

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The Real Housewives of Durban Season 1 Episodes 13 & 14| The long awaited two-part reunion

Dear online family,

Herewith, the review of Real Housewives of Durban Season 1 Episodes 13: Meh & Episode 14: Leave Ayanda alone. My two cents worth as usual!

I am more than disappointed at the Williams family. I am shocked and utterly disgusted. “Reality tv shows are perfect for people who have nothing to lose” – Wendy Williams.

Sfiso Ncwane was Nonku’s ticket to the show and it seems, she will continue to ride that wave every season. Episode 1 and Episode 14 are eerily similar! Ayanda has been the target from day 1. How much more is Nonku going to throw at Ayanda before she reaches breaking point? I hate it when people mistake kindness for stupidity.
I literally can’t stop crying. If there is 1 thing that Nonku Williams understands, it’s reality television. She done set the scene for #RHODurban season 2. At what expense though? Poor Ayanda. I feel for her.

Ayanda must stop playing nice and put her foot down. Demede!

On a lighter note, I don’t know why Sorisha wants to be Mnge😂, you don’t get to insert yourself into people’s friendships like that. Sorisori must rest.

KG really missed the reunion. I feel like of all the cast members, she had the most to answer for. I am kinda disappointed that she is not leaving the show.

Did Phat Joe really shade Mabusi dress though? Wow! Mabusi dominated the season but it seems production is in Nonku’s corner, just judging by the airtime she got. #LionsShare

So Nonku denied being friends with Mabusi once again. 4th time now. Not even Jesus was denied these many times.

Annie didn’t invite the ladies to her wedding and I think everyone is okay with it. I take it it won’t be part of Season 2, which begs the all-important question of why she should return for season 2. She brought nothing to season 1, except for the Yama and candles saga. Who even cares?

The set was Zulu culture themed. How tribalistic! Speaking of which, why do ‘born again’ people only want to involve themselves in our culture when it involves receiving money?
The whole Baby mama drama with Nonku and her family is a misuse of culture to frame the wicked, heartless, cruelty that they’re subjecting Ayanda to.
Let’s remember that Nonku is the one who wanted Nothile’s surname changed, now sekungathi ledombolo lingathwalwa uAyanda


In anticipation of the Real Housewives of Durban Season 1 Episode 13| The Reunion Part 1

The Real Housewives of Durban Reunion loading….

Showmax disappointed us on Friday. The reunion had not been uploaded, they probably hadn’t even shot it by then.
Episode 12 was so tiring and annoying to watch, so I was really looking forward to the reunion drama.

As we wait patiently for the #RHODurban reunion, there’s a rumor that KG missed the taping of the reunion and might not be returning for season 2. Annie can also go yazi, Sorisha (the Chrystal of Dbn) too. There I’ve said it!

Mabusi must be given full Housewife status though! Does she have to be married, in order to be cast as a housewife? I bet not, because Annie is not married.
So my Friday is off to a boring start until the tweeps made it interesting with #RHODurban trending.

In anticipation of the Real Housewives of Durban Season 1 Episode 13 The reunion Part 1, Here are some of the questions I would like answered:

Nonku Williams

1. To Nonku: Now that the elephant in the room has been addressed and wine launched 3 times, what can we look forward to from you on season 2?

2. To Ayanda, Nonku and LaConco: When are you going to apologize for laughing at Mabusi’s yoni steaming business. Now that you have had the opportunity to watch the scene and see how badly you behaved & how mean you were towards Mabusi?

3. To Annie and Kgomotso: Do you watch the Real Housewives of Potomac and if you do, who are your favorite cast mates there?

4. To Sorisha: having watched back the whole season, did you pick up a pattern of behavior by some cast mates towards you vs towards the other cast members? How do you feel about being idolized?

5. To Mabusi: Will you return for season 2 if you are not given Housewive status? If yes, will you be consistent in putting your foot down whenever someone tries to disrespect you?

Let’s have some fun, add your questions below!!!

Did the ladies show us enough of their personal lives this season?

Do you think Ayanda Ncwane is tribalistic?

Do you think Annie gave us enough content this season?

Do you think KG will make it for Part 2 of the Reunion?

Do you think Phat Joe is the right host for the reunion? If not, who would you have picked? Moshe Ndiki or Som Som?


AmaBishop Season 1 Episode 8 Reaction

AmaBishop Episode 8: Phiri’s absence & Fresh faces are a refreshing change to the panel

AmaBishop Episode 8: Fresh faces & familiar ones return. Phiri sat this one out .applause *
Maponga as usual, asked the philosophical questions that have gone unasked for far too long.

After Maponga left, the conversation was a bit more Faith-centered. The Zion Bishop uBab’Shabalala explained sacramentals perfectly. He impressed me today and I liked that he was given a decent amount of airtime.
We had two female pastors on the panel. I hope they will return and be given the space to express themselves.
‘Foreign’ pastors were there to justify and explain why they were sent to the southernmost part of Africa. I wish all these racist Irish pastors would also be summoned to answer why they still feel the need to be missionaries in Africa, because let’s be honest, the African church is fully formed and doesn’t need further colonial input. Too personal?

Oh well. There goes my two cents worth y’all. #AmaBishop


Real Housewives of Durban Season 1 Episode 12 Recap & Review: Mabusi and flowers don’t mix!

  • https://youtu.be/0hI5sZNw0rU
    Last episode before the reunion.
    The most eventful episode of #RHODurban to date!

    It picks up from the L shaped table dinner and the host is having a massage (& Annie) whilst her guests are sitting around, feeling cold, waiting for food.
    (I feel like Nonku has played all her cards and left the audience feeling like that’s it, she can exit the show. She brought the ‘elephant’, professed her undying love for Sfiso, reunited Nothile with her brothers, visited Sifiso’s grave, launched her wine multiple times, introduced us to Mabusi, her sister, mother, father and Brenda. Cried about her abusive ex husband.) Did I miss anything?

    Anyway, Ayanda bluntly pointed out the obvious, i.e. that Nonku is a lousy host, a bone which KG carried energetically but yielded zero drama. KG thinks that Ayanda & LaConco were fighting with her. I saw none of that. She let them know that akabasabi😂

    Did Mabusi’s flowers not end up on the floor by Nonku’s door! 😂

    KG & Sorisha had a catching up session, and yes Sorisha is a mean girl too. It pains me to say this.
    Phupho brought Ayanda some more fashions & they had their own catching up session with LaConco.

    There were too many activities and these could have been used as team building but nope, they were just for fun🙄. Hiking, zip lining in the scorching South African sun… No thanks.

    They had dinner with Siba at her restaurant. Nonku called LaConco iqaba, but I don’t think LaConco will be insulted by that. Nonku went around the table kissing everybody’s bottoms. So unnecessary and fake.

    There was a 3rd launch of Ashes to Beauty🙄 LaConco pulled a KG with her eye rolls, yawns and just a demeanor of disinterest. I was so annoyed. Flowersgate lifted the energy in the dungeon. It seems Annie and Nonku are really becoming close. See what a little ass kissing can do for you!

    The bikers were a big hit with the ladies, especially Ayanda, she jokes around too much about being thirsty that one. Upon arrival at the harbor on those majestic motorbikes, they bordered the boat and had fun eating, drinking and dancing. This concludes Season 1.

AmaBishop Season 1 Episode 6 Reaction: It runs in the family.

AmaBishop Season 1 Episode 6: It runs in the family.
Tresford Bushiri (Durban) and Kemar Mkhize (Pietermaritzburg) were the alleged perpetrators on this episode.

The young girl who got raped at 17 years of age detailed how the ‘man of God’ went about luring her in through facebook (promising to help her with her business), raping her and paying her 4800 rands as a so called blessing. The lingo they use in that church! One would need an ECG dictionary to attend, it seems. Not that I would ever want to attend.

My question though is, who is teaching first time church goers the protocol to observe when you are interacting with the prophet (or whatever title they use)? I wish someone had asked her and Farai this question.

I also wondered why (in school) we were only taught ‘fight’ or ‘flight’ but not ‘freeze’, because it does happen. In fact it happens more often than people think. And by offering a payment and insisting on it, the perpetrator is already preying on your mind and building a defense strategy. “It was consensual, I even paid her for it!” is what they would say. These Bushiris have perfected their craft or is it witchcraft🤷🏾

Farai, was a young man who used to work for this Bushiri fellow. He was given US$10k for his troubles. Word on the street is that he got 2 million rands according to Maponga. His fiancé was also one of the victims he said & then changed and said that she made her choice🤷🏾. I honestly didn’t know what to think.

This show needs to bring in lawyers and cops who deal with such cases, to explain to the audience and advise what victims should do in such circumstances. Perhaps instead of having useless Phiri and radical Maponga as panelists, they could bring in useful guests like the social worker and Sihle Sibisi as they did today.

Sihle brought a woman from Pmb, whose mother and two nieces were butchered by a pastor, who was advised by isangoma allegedly to do it in order to get promoted in his church. He is in custody, awaiting trial because his bail was denied.

If you have to kill for it, it’s not for God. Whether it’s a promotion, an election, etc.

This was heartbreaking and gut wrenching. It got me questioning what the point of this show is. Could it be to shock us with these horrific stories, just for ratings? Why are they retraumatizing victims? What will they gain by it?

Nimrod and Maponga grilled Farai so much about the alleged 2 million rands and left me wondering where this energy and vigor was when they visited Zondo.

Nimrod and Phiri went on to address the right of reply and Phiri’s inability to ask hard questions because these pastors are his peers in the profession. I call BS on all of that! They didn’t even try to get answers out of Zondo. If Phiri is production, let him deal with booking guests for the show and not sit on the panel, it’s not like he contributes much on the panel anyway.


Real Housewives of Durban Season 1 Episode 11 Recap and Review| Capetown, shades and Earrings

Real Housewives of Durban Season 1 Episode 11: Fresh episode, same old BS.

I was happy that 1: they are in my favorite place on earth, Capetown.

2: the episode started with Capetown, no picking up from the previous episode🙌

Someone should take Nonku under her wing and teach her about hosting. I am serious. But that person can’t be Kgomotso.

Zisuka nje, she decided that she was going to be the one handing out room keys to the ladies. I have watched the episode twice but still don’t get why🤷🏾.

KG tries to create drama with the sun tanning thing but it falls flat.

They sat by the pool and they’re calling it a ‘pool party’, I don’t know why. They wore their swim wear (LaConco covered herself with towels and it looked awkward nje but asikho lapho) but there was no swimming, nor was there a party. Unless poking fun at Mabusi is considered a party.

I was ready to snatch some wigs on Mabusi’s behalf. Why would you fly someone all the way to Kaapstad, only to make them a butt of the joke? And KG might hide behind her ‘poor command of isiZulu’ but saying “into emnandi iyaphindwa” was uncalled for. The fact that they laughed about it made me mad. Mind you, Ayanda and Sorisha have never apologized for laughing at Mabusi in the Midlands. Yes, I am keeping scores. #meangirlsvibes

Mabusi let them know that she doesn’t appreciate the mockery and left, only Ayanda had the presence of mind to go talk to her.

Mabusi gave game night a miss, for obvious reasons. The ladies looked so bored. Sorisha joined the group and the mood lifted instantly. Is she one of the Executive Producers? KG was thrilled to be twinning with her🙄 Nonku called it a ‘Buy 1 get 1 free special’. 😂

The game they played would have worked better if they’d been drinking. Production dropped the ball on this one.

Nonku’s poor communication resulted in some of the ladies going to the farm to pick grapes in dresses and feeling uncomfortable. There’s a nonchalant air about her that I find really annoying.

Ayanda was the first to enthusiastically jump onto the back of the bakkie, whilst others were still contemplating making a run for it. She picked the most grapes too. I love her work ethic and commitment to charity. Yes, I am a fan!

KG saw an opportunity to shine and took it. Annie tagged along to share the spotlight. Ladies, you’re already on the show, we see you!

The whole point of going to the farm was to help the grape pickers. Some people (it seems) just don’t understand that every grape picked means money in the pockets of those ladies. So horsing around defeated the purpose in my view.

Nonku matched the physical work with R3000, which was very generous of her.

Back at the hotel, the L shaped dinner table! A lot of issues came up all at once. The ‘UnAfrican’ comment was finally put to rest and some group members felt that LaConco was supposed to take responsibility for what Nonku said. On which planet kodwa? I still don’t know why they feel they should be included on issues of amatshitshi 🤷🏾The same Kgomotso who claimed her isiZulu was not good, suddenly felt that had she been invited, she would have been able to converse with amatshitshi in isiZulu… 🤦

The subject quickly turned to Ayanda, not attending Sorisha’s silly event (knowing full well that she’d just lost her mom). Then they turned it into “you never replied when we texted our condolences”, Annie was smirking, clearly amuzed. I got so mad at the callousness of the whole thing. This mean girl behavior really irked me.I know they want ratings, but this was unnecessary and visibly painful for Ayanda.
When she left the table, they didn’t even bother to follow her, just to see if she’s okay. Not Mnge, not the hostess, not even Saint Sorisha 😒

Nonku in her usual blasé manner, offered Mabusi the cheapest looking bouquet of flowers and chocolates for an apology about jokingly saying she couldn’t find Mabusi’s room key card at the ‘pool party’. Mabusi accepted the apology and gave us the most satisfying BUT in television history.

Nonku was read for filth, top to bottom. If you watch #RHOA you will remember Kandi and Nene’s “I. See. You.” There was a split screen and all!

The show producers had better give Mabusi ischolo newisa lakhe come Season 2. She has been put through the fire and emerged stronger and purer! I stan, a queen. And her confessional make-up on this episode was 👌🔥
Ayanda, Nonku and Mabusi are carrying this show in my humble opinion.

Did you see the aerial shots?!!! Capetown is beautiful. Oh I just love Capetown. #RealHousewivesOfDurban #RHODurban #capetown #capetownmag


Real Housewives of Durban Season 1 Episode 10| even more events!

The Real Housewives of Durban Season 1 Episode 10 was full of fashion, drama and events of course.

The episode picks up from Sorisha’s dream catcher event and yes, there’s another challenge, much to Nonku and Laconco’s annoyance.

Nonku is tipsy and I’m loving it! Every episode lately makes reference to her drinking and being drunk, I don’t like it. Why should they come for her like that?

Kgomotso won. Who else was gonna win a crafts challenge? It took me back to primary school. I hated craft work.

Nonku’s announcement about the Capetown trip was overshadowed by her being tipsy. She sang ‘sesikuqedile’, that’s bantu education for you! 😂

We got introduced to Brenda Mbutho, a singer who is friends with the inland crew (Nonku, Thobe, Mabusi…). They spoke about her single launch and their mutual friend, Thobe. Thobe got invited to the launch, without Nonku’s knowledge evidently.

Ayanda Ncwane celebrated her award and 10 years in the music business. I feel like we don’t celebrate ourselves enough as women. I salute her for doing it.

The small talk between Sorisha and LaConco at Ayanda’s party killed me! #umoyawamuyavuma is such a defining moment in Ayanda’s career post-Sfiso. I admire her strength and resilience. Ayanda’s fashion sense is rubbing off on LaConco, she was sweeping the floors with that garb! Beautiful though.

LaConco hosted a lunch with amatshitshi and I love the work she’s doing with them, I wish she could mentor all these aunties responsible for amatshitshi across the Zulu kingdom. The non-Zulus were not invited.

Nonku’s mom and sister joined her for a spa day and they unpacked the girls trip drama. Sorisha took her dogs for their weekly pampering and she was shown dog ice-cream, and I suspect it’s gonna be in upcoming episodes, Lord help us. #RichPeopleThings

The single launch finally comes, ladies in beautiful black dresses. Sorisha brings Thobe, and Nonku was shocked but it seems Brenda knewabout it. Production is really trying Nonku!

Ayanda, being the last one to arrive, rocks up in white with Phupho by her side.

LaConco had to explain why she didn’t invite the non-Zulus to her lunch, because Nonku went blabbering about it to them. She was saved by the rain, literally!

The young poet wowed the ladies, Brenda equally moved them with her vocal abilities and the Zulus were on their feet dancing. The shade from the non-Zulus was funny.

My anxiety levels were through the roof as the fire dancer did his thing in front of the drooling crowd, one mistake and all those wigs would have burnt the place down. This event was jam packed and very extra, for a single launch. The shoe game was on point though at this party and in this episode in general.

Mabusi felt like her invitation was an after thought & confronted Nonku about it, since they’re friends in real life, Mabusi was perplexed by the shadiness. I would be confused also.

The ladies are not feeling the Capetown trip at all. I would jump at a chance to vacation in Kaapstad free of charge. KG wants the itinerary 🙄, wow ladies!

I love it when they show areal shots of Durban. It’s a beautiful, colorful city!

Thank you for allowing me to tell you about this episode, I don’t take your readership, followership, subscriptions, viewership for granted. I truly appreciate it.

Have a blessed Good Friday, restful Holy Saturday and spirit-filled Easter.



Mnakwethu Happily Ever After Season 2 Episode 13| Recap and Review

MnakwethuHEA episode 13: “the storm is over!”

Qondanisa’s wives meet with him at the hostel and things get mended between Qondanisa and Samantha. But question remains, is Samantha going to move out of the house she shares with Diaz?

Magaye’s sister (judging from how she speaks) chatted with the second wife (And she wore her favorite denim jacket!) about telling Magaye the truth in anticipation of his visit.

In Pmb, Ngiga finally arrives with the ‘uncles’ to pay damages at the Khanyiles.

The cows were on a war path, and indured people. The Khanyiles accepted the damages and reported to the ancestors, a step which is crucial but often overlooked as we are now too focused on money. The family asked what his intentions are for their daughter. A lot of people have criticized families for asking this question but I think they have a right to know if you have decided to not marry their child.

The SCA (Side Chick Association) has a girls trip, when are the first wives going to get outings? And we find out that Sphiwe ‘s table for three didn’t work in his favor🙁. I suspect Zandi’s hiding her true feelings.

Dulas’s baby mama was there and not her usual cocky self. What happened with the makeup team? We are owed an explanation for the sloppy make-up on Dulas’ wives to be.

Makhayile was also there and had to explain who she is, and where she was when Ngiga was shooting a show with another girl.

MaMhlongo proudly tells the group about beating MaDlamini and the show decides not to cut this part out. Kanti why is violence being glorified and celebrated? The SCA laughs about it. Who raised these people? Wolves?

Magaye finally hears the big secret and he is not amuzed. Even when he is devastated, Magaye comes through with some superb soundbites: “Ufihla yonkinto!”, “The storm is over! “. You gotta love his animated character. The snippets from previous episodes was just on another level of being shady.

With all this drama and devastation, I wonder if some of the men regret wanting a second wife. I also wonder about oMamkhulu, do they really want to be in these marriages still and will their relationships with their husbands ever be as happy as they were before the introduction of the second wives.

Polygamy is not looking like an exciting type of relationship to me. I salute those who choose it, and thrive in it. I would be miserable.

Okay folks, that’s my two cents worth. I wish you a spirit-filled tridium and Easter. Enjoy yourselves and please keep safe.



AmaBishop Episode 4 and 5 Reviews/Reaction

AmaBishop Episode 4 and 5 played back to back and quite honestly left viewers feeling cheated.

Tonight, we had back to back episodes, we found the first one by chance actually.

AmaBishop Episode 4: “Should women be allowed to lead at church?”

If someone were to tell us that God is white and heaven is for white people only, we would be up in arms yet men can tell us that because we get periods, we cannot be preachers at church. We are relegated to wakes (imilindelo) and Thursday prayers. Do periods stop when there’s a death? “Masifele amaKorinte na”?

Not all church leaders are good leaders across the gender divide. The Catholic church in Southern Africa had a black woman for a Secretary General for more terms than any other person before. Mugabe tendencies aside, just because you’re a woman or a black person it doesn’t automatically make you a good or bad leader.

There are people who think that the Catholic church should ordain women into priesthood but asikho lapho.

Some church leaders seem not to notice that 95% of their congregation is women and you can find that the 95% are as male chauvinistic as their pastors and believe that it’s God’s way. It was an unnecessary discussion in my view. I would have rather spent the time discussing the type of leadership that our churches ought to cultivate and celebrate.

We are too focused on the money making aspect of things that we are even willing to bend, if not totally break the rules to do it. Creative accounting (umlabalaba), money laundering, stealing from the poor, nepotism, tempering with immigration laws, etc. are some of the things that are going on in churches. Even the so called mainline churches are not exempt.

The quality of the content and depth of the discussion wasn’t to my liking. This show should stick to exposing the filth that exists in our churches and steer clear of topics that get us nowhere, we will watch *umphakathi* and *chatroom* for the mundane content.

AmaBishop Episode 5: Zondo’s mega church ultimate flex.

I was more than disappointed, but disgusted by how weak these people are. Zo do was handled with the softest kid gloves they could find.

Solomon brought it as usual but he was by himself, the others had crossed the floor. It’s as if they went there to beg for Zondo’s autograph.

Maponga asking for office space was the pit of the episode for me. #AmaBishop should be renamed #Amagwala.

Solomon was on his own. Church leaders ought to have back bones. The way traditional leaders are taught to be honest and tell the truth even when it is inconvenient to do so, is exactly what church leaders should be taught.

Phiri and Maponga were not direct in their questions and even when Zondo failed to answer, nobody bothered to push for an answer. Our time was wasted here. Besides Zondo’s crying and denial of the accusations leveled against him, what else did he say?

Why does he want to label the CRL commission as ‘out to get him’ , when the process is not even completed. Why preempt that the report from the commission will portray him in a negative light?

When they brought in that fellow from Klerksdorp, Solomon said ‘same whatsapp group’😂😂😂

Questioning Solomon’s credentials was so unnecessary. The fact that it made it to the final edit was very telling. The editing of this show has been problematic from the beginning but today’s production was dodgy, to say the least. MojaLove can do better.

That’s my two cents worth folks.

Have a wonderful week ahead. It’s Holy week. Enjoy your spiritual abd religious journeys and may you get out of it what you desire.



Real Housewives of Durban Season 1 Episode 9 Recap & Review: RIP Ayanda’s mom

Real Housewives of Durban Season 1 Episode 9: RIP Ayanda’s mom.

Nonku represented the curvy Zulus at Sorisha’s Yoga morning, which got interrupted by KG with her sneakers. She has serious attention seeking tendencies that one.

Ayanda killed me when she dissed the sneakers, ‘dollsay’ what now Ayanda?

Real talk though, 3 episodes on this girls trip is a bit much.

{Side note while I wait for the buffering: Nonku and Ayanda have interesting lives, LaConco hasn’t shared much of her personal life on the show and the rest are just dry}.

Mabusi got sneakers also, Alleluia. They came with a half-baked apology of ‘if I said those exact words then I’m sorry’. Listen, they played back the clip when KG said it. Shady editing 😂. KG expects us to believe that she doesn’t recall calling Mabusi a wig-snatcher!

Grown women in go carts😒, really though? Mabusi sat this one out and I don’t blame her.

Candlesgate was the highlight of this episode for me, because of the ‘thula!’. I had hoped for “wenja!” but hey I’m counting the ‘thula’ as a victory for the Zulus. This Annie-KG tag team really irks me. They messed with the wrong one this time.

Lerato (Ayanda’s sister) called about Ayanda’s mom being hospitalized, unfortunately she didn’t make it. May her soul rest in peace. I salute her for how she raised her kids to be one harmonious unit.

Annie’s house hunting was exciting. I love beautiful homes. When I make it big, I am buying myself a nice little mansion by the sea. Mark my words, I am manifesting here.

We finally almost see LaConco’s home. She is working out on the balcony when Annie calls. They meet up, LaConco apologizes for using the word “purposefully” and she throws in “Culture shock”😁. It was a mess. Neither of them meant those apologies in my humble opinion.

Non-Zulus 3 way call, KG’s Saint and summer photo shoot, dance fitness… Blah blah snooze

Who did KG’s make-up for her dinner with Sorisha, she looked witchy😱. She is pleased to be asked to plan Sorisha’s next event. Sorisha’s Dreamcatcher event was beautiful and drama free. Ayanda did not attend because she was bereaved. I missed her energy. What’s with the flower bush hair Annie😃? LaConco looked so pretty and her bunny chow did too. All hail LaConco, the bunny chow queen! 🍽️

#RHODurbanS1E9 #RHODurban #RealHousewivesOfDbn


AmaBishop Season 1 Episode 3| Same story different cast

AmaBishop Season 1 Episode 3| Same story different cast.

The alleged perpetrator (I mean prophet) of the week is Paul Heaven.
Mboro was the unfortunate one, who got exposed live but at least he had a chance to redeem himself, which he failed to do 🤷🏾

I am not going to be laughing at all the people who have fallen victim to these prophets because if you belong to a church, any church at all… It could be your pastor next week.

All these “prophetic” churches with their mission houses, full of girls, guns and morning after pills supplied in bulk… At what point do we start to question the whole set up?

I once had a discussion with a Zambian Dr about this. I should tell you about it one day. His take on it was that SAns are lazy, gullable and greedy. Hardest pill to swallow!
Have a good week ahead.


Mnakwethu Season 2 Episode 11 Happily Ever After?| 3 is not a crowd

Mnakwethu Happily Ever After #mnakwethuHEA Episode 11 Review| 3 is not a crowd with this bunch.

Samantha reporting Qondanisa to MaMchunu

Please excuse the photo quality, I actually watched the episode on 1Magic. Samantha was crying to MaMchunu about Qondanisa ignoring her calls and basically deserting her and the fact that she is now staying with Diaz. Mamchunu asked if Qondanisa had looked for alternative accommodation for her, to which the answer was ‘No’. She promised to talk to Nhlanhla aka Qondanisa about the situation.

[mah gah yeah] Magaye took his ‘wives’ out and actually did all the talking on their behalf. He is such a character. The actual wife looked so uncomfortable. Now that the meeting has happened, Magaye is now able to bring the second wife to Mamkhulu’s party.

The second wife didn’t actually apologize, Magaye did all the talking on her behalf. Wow! Talk about bulldozing your way in.

Qondanisa, Dulas and Ngiga are discussing about a song they have collaborated on and the music video thereof. Whatever 🙄.

I am skipping Dulas’ scenes as usual.

MamChunu had to flex for both Samantha and the audience!

Mamchunu visits Qondanisa and confronts him about how he’s been treating Samantha. Qondanisa is not buying the “sudden concern” for Samantha story. Mamchunu wants a sit down where all three of them will try and work this situation out. Okay, Mamkhulu duties I suppose.

The table for three finally happens, but there’s no table because it’s a picnic. Both ladies get flowers. Lerato Radebe apologizes for her harsh words to Siphiwe but is adamant that she’s done with him. Zandi’s still in love with Sphiwe. MaRadebe gives them her blessings to carry on with the relationship without her.

This episode felt so short. I had expected to see Ngiga in Pmb, paying damages at MaKhanyile’s but it wasn’t included in this episode.

It seems polygamy is more taxing on the first wife and the fact that she has to assume the role of advocate for the younger wife baffles me. These women are carrying such heavy loads. I personally would not be so gracious and self-sacrificing.

Anyway, that is my 2 cents worth folks.



Real Housewives of Durban Season 1 Episode 7 Review| Mabusi the wig-snatcher

Who died and made Kgomotso head girl of the mean girls?
Real Housewives of Durban Season 1 Episode 7: Kgomotso needs to stop antagonizing Mabusi.
Are you acclimated to the Durban accent yet? Please comment below!!!

The episode picks up from the “bash Mabusi” gathering at Annie’s salon/nightclub. Ayanda didn’t attend, no surprises there.
Mabusi came very late, was questioned about the invitation to KG’s launch and basically she was made fun of.
The group laughed at her expense and she got called a wig-snatcher by KG, who no doubt will try to push Mabusi’s buttons until she snatches her ill-fitted wig off.
It doesn’t end there….

LaConco visits Mabusi’s business space (for lack of a better word), she learns about the different Yoni products that Mabusi’s selling (some of which she mixes herself). They also talk about KG’s antics.

We meet Lerato, who is Ayanda’s sister. I love how Ayanda looks out for her family and involves them in her empire! She inspires me. They were at Agape, Ntokozo’s boutique. Now you know where the frilly frocks come from😂😂😂😂

The do over of Nonku’s launch starts off with a golf lesson. Apart from KG’s annoying attention seeking antics, it was great. Mabusi came wearing a jean and KG took that bone and ran with it🙄.
LaConco didn’t attend the golf and lunch because she was meeting with her team to plan her own launch. I like how ordinary her team looks. No pretentious bs, just people with a vision and a mandate to deliver.

The lunch afterwards at Nonku’s house was very nice. Nothile came to greet Ayanda and she was super excited to see her. I feel that Ayanda is being genuine with Nothile and it’s beautiful.
We are missing Annie this week because her child/children are not feeling well. You can’t even tell that there’s a person missing. So, exactly what value does she add to the cast?

LaConco’s launch is a get away trip to the midlands. There are two kombis (mini bus taxis) transporting the ladies. Sorisha and Kgomotso are sharing one and guess who KG is going on and on about: Mabusi of course. Ayanda, Nonku and Mabusi are sharing the second kombi and it’s lit! Each lady is sharing about herself and not gossiping about the others. Nonkanyiso looks her age as she shoots a welcome video for the ladies and her skin was glowing, her whole face was beaming. It was refreshing to see her like this.

These ladies clearly haven’t been on road trips in their lives, judging by the complaints of the journey being long. Really? Ayanda then goes on her bone carrying mission to Sorisha’s house, where Nonkanyiso interrupts as she came in to greet and welcome the ladies. Nonku was busy asking Mabusi to please behave during the trip, further making the audience question Mabusi’s character. All this villification is making me like Mabusi actually!

The dinner, hosted by LaConco turns into an episode of the hot seat. All barrels pointed at Nonkanyiso and moghel can certainly hold her own…

RHODurbanS1E7 #RHODurban #MabusiTheWigSnatcher


Mnakwethu Season 2 Episode 10 Review: All about Qondanisa

Mnakwethu Season 2 Episode 10 Review: All about Qondanisa

It was all about Qondanisa this week. It felt like the other scenes were just filling up the episode. Baphelezela isthembu saQondanisa.

MaMchunu showing off her makoti abilities

My dear Zulu people, we have to do better. Let’s raise our girls better. A girl that was ‘raised and taught well’ is not necessarily one that breaks her back trying to impress her in-laws with strenuous chores.

Let me tell you, there’s nothing easy or fun about fetching firewood and water. This is the type of indoctrination that has imprisoned our mothers, grandmothers and countless generations of women before them. What if it falls upon our generation to break the chains of bondage?

Mamchunu was clearly raised on this doctrine and I felt sad for her. All this kotizaring and your man still feels like you are not enough, you need a ‘helper’ as his mother pointed out!

Samantha reckons her ancestors don’t approve of Qondanisa

Meanwhile Samantha and Diaz are cooking up a plan for her to leave Qondanisa. The same Samantha who told MaMhlongo to get back together with Dulas. I am skipping the Dulas scene on purpose. #notworthit

This girl is young and beautiful, it doesn’t make sense to me why she has chosen such a lifestyle.

What part of Pmb is Ginga’s baby mama from kanti? It looked like kaMpumuza or something like that, ubani owaziyo, achaze?

I noticed that the mother was also wearing a sash accross her chest area, similar to that one of Qondanisa’s mom in Nquthu. Somebody please explain the reason to me. See in the South Coast, the daughters-in-law, regardless of how many years of marriage, have to wear these when there are family functions like funerals, imisebenzi, weddings, etc. I have always understood it to symbolize that you are spoken for, so that men in the family know not to try their luck with you.

Qondanisa visits his in-laws as usual umavakashekhweni🙄.

The elders demand a fine and this time it’s cash.

The seating arrangement at the Mchunu’s confused me. In the South Coast we have izilili, men sit on the right hand side and women on the left hand side. I was thrown when women and men were on the same side of the 6 cornered – rondavel. Was it for TV or is it done like that in Northern KZN vele? Please educate me.

Okay folks, that’s my 2 cents worth for now.



Real Housewives of Durban Season 1 Episode 6 Review


Real Housewives of Durban Season 1 Episode 6: Mabusi denied!

Mabusi denied. It’s a trend with this group of women to deny knowing people.

Anyway, thank you so much for indulging me as I tell you my take on this episode. Shalom🙏

I give my own titles!

Maphumulo, KZN

As usual it picks up from previous episode 🙄. Why can’t each episode be a stand alone?

Ayanda tells the girls about the poisoning of her brother and her late hubby, which explains her guardedness about accepting food willy nilly, which is actually understandable.

Kgomotso is her prissy self complaining about flies at a traditional ceremony. I take it she’s never attended such ceremonies before.

Did anybody else laugh at the comparison between Odwa Ndungane and Sifiso Ncwane, like girl…. We don’t consider your husband a celebrity!

LaConco complains about Ayanda’s phony friendship to her sister. I am disappointed that she didn’t address it with Ayanda directly. The expectation that Ayanda should have worn a real isidwaba and no weave was just bizarre to me. Not everybody was raised in a community or family that insists on guests to be fully kitted out as if they are trying to upstage usingaye.

Kgomotso complains to her husband about Mabusi being demanding at her launch.

Annie sends the ladies feathery invitations.

Ayanda & Sorisha meet to catch up on Nonku’s daughter meeting with Ayanda’s sons. I am in awe of Ayanda’s openness and how she has embraced Nothile. It was really touching. She also tells Sorisha about the impending surname change. As a Zulu person, I am asking myself if inhlawulo was paid for Nothile🤔

At Nonku’s house, the queen comes over for a visit. She and Nonku look so much alike! Nonku’s found some relief from distress, which even her mom acknowledges, after visiting Sifiso’s resting place. She probes Nothile about the reunion with her brothers and a possibility of another visit. Nothile wants to visit BUT, by herself.

I would have liked for Nonku’s questions to be open ended…but that’s just me.

When the subject of a surname change is brought up, Nothile welcomes it!

I like how musical she is. She is without a doubt her father’s daughter.

Apparently Ngcweti is also musical like Sifiso! He thinks he’s grown😂, talking about “the other two will get along better because they are younger”. Nothile looks very mature for her age. Ayanda is so excited about Nothile, it’s beautiful to watch!

When the ladies attend the event at Annie’s salon, nobody mentions the club and the music but the camera pans to the DJ a couple of times (confusing me) and I think of how Kgomotso was complaining about the mood not being set at Nonku’s launch.

Speaking of KG, what the hell was she wearing and who told her that she looks anything like Halle Berry? HHAIBO!

Mabusi dominates conversation & I am now curious to know more about this Mabusi person. Perhaps she could replace Kgomotso & Annie in Season 2 because #nostorylines #snoozefest. Just saying.

This is my 2 cents worth folks!




Mnakwethu Happily Ever After | Season 2 Episode 9

This episode was all about the second wives

Mnakwethu Season 2 Episode 9: Second wives club.It felt like a continuation of episode 8 and not quite a stand alone episode.

I wonder how Qondanisa is when cameras stop rolling.

It picks up with Samantha and Qondanisa. In the previous episode, this guy showed signs of being a woman beater but asikho lapho. Basically, he hasn’t been there for Samantha. Even when she lost her mother, he just ignored her. When she asked if there’s another girlfriend, we get a ‘I am a man’ speech, code for “heck yeah, I have other women in my life”. In my head, I was screaming at Samantha for allowing this guy to treat her like she doesn’t matter. Cut your losses girl and move on.

Sphiwe goes to MaRadebe with Zandi and offers some money towards inhlawulo, but it wasn’t enough🙄. Why do broke men want polygamous relationships?

They go to the altar and burn incense, leaving Zandi rolling her eyes in the kitchen. MaRadebe demands for Sphiwe to prioritize Zandi’s cleansing ceremony and a table for 3 for ‘wasting their time’. MaRadebe is leadership!

Magaye and sons, planning a surprise party for the wife

Musa Mseleku wanna be, Bheki Cele is organizing a dinner for Mamkhulu. Didn’t we already see this on uthando nesthembu?

MaKhumalo is a beautiful woman but Her RBF is not cute.

Ngiga and his wife are out having fun with their child. She looks sad. Her RBF is not cute. She let’s us know that Ngiga had 6 children when they met, so the other 7 are as a result of him cheating on her.

I found myself yelling at the tv, “Why are you still there?”.

Why is this set up not enough for Ngiga?

Listen, I was once stupid enough to forgive a pregnancy, I was told it was a mistake and a one night stand. I was still young and stupid. Two more pregnancies by two different girls followed and I was out.

SCA leading each other astray

Back to the Side Chick Association, lead by Samantha. In true #Realitytv style there’s a spa outing that results in MaMhlongo being convinced to stay with Dulas🙄. I can’t with this storyline.

This relationship doesn’t sit well with me

Meanwhile in Avoca Hills, Magaye tells his side piece about the surprise party, making her think that she’s invited. She pushes for an invite and it doesn’t go her way. She was mad that Magaye hasn’t facilitated a meeting with Mamkhulu and she is pushing to meet with her. This relationship doesn’t strike me as a stable one, but I could be wrong.

#mnakwethuHEA #Polygamy #SCA #mnakwethuHappilyEverAfter


Real Housewives of Durban Season 1 Episode 5 Review

Real Housewives of Durban Season 1 Episode 5 Review.
I want to keep it short and to the point.

Sorisha is leadership

Sorisha is leadership! As much as she’s been away from the cameras, her return brings balance. The ‘Giselle and Robyn wanna be’ duo are very well behaved when Sorisha is there. I liked how she avoided drama with Nonkanyiso, insinuating that Vivian is a polygamist.

Sorisha is not to be dragged into meanness

I gave her my stamp of approval when she told Annie that she hoped they were supportive to Nonku. That is a girl’s girl in my book.

Nonku mmust rise!

I feel for Nonku. The wine launch flop is really weighing heavily on her. At least she got a chance to bid Sifiso farewell, when Ayanda took her and her daughter to the gravesite.

Ayanda and her sons looked genuinely happy to see Nothile. She is a shy teenager, so it was probably a bit too much for her. Add cameras to the mix…

The little scenes of shopping for beads and pole dancing didn’t really interest me. I am about the real stuff.

In true Ayanda style, she rocked up late to umemulo kaLaConco. I think that they should give her a different call time, in anticipation of her lateness tendencies.

So Ayanda wasn’t eating (probably because she is born again, or maybe she had already eaten before coming to the event) at LaConco’s event and it got blown way out of proportion. How could and why would LaConco poison her guests, especially her friend Ayanda? Ayanda’s explanation didn’t convince me, she eats at restaurants and she ate at the club and at the Diwali party. Clearly she is hiding her reason for refusing the food.
#realitytv #RealHousewivesOfDurban #review #umemulo #SorishaIsLeadership #Villagevibes #Zulungenkani #Shwele


Mnakwethu Season 2 (Happily ever after?)| Episode 7 Review

I am yet to see any happiness on this show.
This episode gave me something to write about, at least.
I am glad they didn’t show us Dula’s girlfriends this time around. I am really tired of the nonsensical drama. Sometimes I feel like these young girls rush into commitments prematurely. Could it be the ‘sizodla nini ngawe?’ type questions that our uncles and aunties need to stop asking?

MaRadebe in Season 1, had the most dramatic episode & said some words out of hurt, to the girl who was to become her sister wife. The girl ended up having a miscarriage and they’ve now both broken up with the guy. MaRadebe knew the kind of person she was married to.

 These two women needed this moment of forgiveness. I wish women worldwide would realize that no good can come from hurting another woman.

The Mchunu brothers attempted to ‘fine their brother in law’ for going about things improperly. Why is this guy always visiting with the in-laws? It’s like he’s making celebrity appearances.

They made a 180° turn halfway through the discussion and it made me think that they were just after the black tax, which they happily accepted in the form of booze. I wasn’t convinced that they felt aggrieved in any way. Zulu women, you are on your own!

Magaye’s wife always makes me feel sad. She feels trapped in that marriage and because she didn’t finish school, she doesn’t feel like she can make it on her own. I wonder how many women are in this exact position out there. I feel for her.

MaKhanyile was sent home so that the pregnant wife could visit. The wife ‘makes food and babies’, we were told. I wonder why women put up with these men.

The male chauvinistic outlook, attitude and disposition displayed on this show is like our window into the psyche of patriarchal traditionalists, who are determined to block the liberation of women in our society at all costs.

#Realitytv #review #MnakwethuS2E7 #MaleChaunistic #patriachal #traditionalist #toxicmasculinity #Polygamy


Real Housewives of Durban (RHOD) | Season 1 Episode 1

Real Housewives of Durban season 1 ep 1: The cast is built around Sorisha Naidoo (Vivian Reddi’s yellow bone wife), kids are as dark as she was before the skin lightening but asikho lapho. I expected Nonkanyiso to be at the party because Vivian and Zuma are buddies but that wasn’t the case. Sifiso Ncwane’s baby mama Nonku brought the drama at the Diwali party!

I felt sorry for Ayanda, because she’s still grieving the loss of her husband. The guy didn’t do right by his mom and baby mamas, but it’s his widow that has to carry that dumpling (Englishifying Zulu idioms). Yazi bazomthwesa ugodo olushunqintuthu. Anne and Kgomotso had so much screen time but are quickly fading into the background. The other woman is forgettable unfortunately. She’s a successful business person though. As the fireworks went off, I couldn’t help but wonder about the many dogs in that household🤔The niceties are over now, we are looking forward to the claws being out and to LaConco’s introduction.

#Realitytv #review #RealHousewivesofDurban


Braxton Family Values Season 7 Episode 6: Sister Staycation

s7-Eps.3 >> Braxton Family Values Season 7 , [Episode 3 Full Online] | Braxton  Family Values (2020) S7/E3 On Series

BFV: I am not used to feeling calm and happy after watching this show, but I am enjoying the new Traci.
I am annoyed at Toni for being unnecessarily extra with the beekeeper’s getup, like really? And how she keeps on wanting to invite negativity into the tranquil sisters vacay. Their youngest sister irks me and she made a good decision quitting the show, so I just don’t get why she keeps bringing her up. If you miss your sister, call her 🤦
Traci tried to explain her talk to the therapist, and to Trina & Towanda… But she wasn’t saying the whole thing. I felt like she was holding back and trying not to offend her mother.
In her 50s and still scared of her mom.
Anyway, Towanda got her tattoo removed and it got me thinking 🤔why the hell would you tattoo somebody’s name on your wrist when you don’t even feel the butterflies in your stomach for him? Apparently the new guy makes her feel like she’s experiencing love for the first time 🙄
They like pyjama parties in this family, so for Toni’s birthday party, they wore clown makeup and costume wigs… Lord have mercy. Towanda looked stunning as Cleopatra but her sisters were wack af.
I sure hope this is their last season. I also hope that all who need therapy will realize it and seek it out.
Unfortunately, some people cannot look themselves in the mirror and be honest with what they find. 🤷🏿
My 2 cents end here.

“Ilwa ntombo”

“Fight girlie!” is the literal translation of this wildly used term. The priest at my mom’s funeral centred his homily around this term and gained fans among even the most stubborn non-believers in my family. When you say things that make sense in a creative way that only Fr S’milo Mngadi can master with ease, you gain a following.

Angikho ke lapho today.

Inspiration for my outdoor bathroom!

I discovered a snake not too far from the house, as I was trying to DIY an outdoor bathroom for when I am filthy from doing garden work or for when there’s a lot of visitors in need of the facility. Needless to say, I abandoned the project. See, I am scared of snakes, petrified in fact.

Both types of snakes actually, the types that slither on their bellies and those that walk on two legs. But none of them are higher or more powerful than God. They will try and hold you back with 1 little piece of paper because your stagnation is what makes their progress and successes even sweeter. I don’t know who needs to hear this today, no matter what has been planned and plotted, GOD IS IN CHARGE!

God makes a way, always! I went through a period of depression and loud cries just a few days after my mom’s funeral because I felt like the mountain I was climbing was insurmountable and some people were hellbent on making it even harder than necessary. God came through for me in unexpected ways. It’s as if He’s saying “My way is better, trust me”. Lord you are wonderful!

I pray healing upon those whose hearts have hardened, for the selfish and for those who cannot stomach another person’s ambitious and bold steps. May you never see another person’s successful life as a reflection of your own failures.
May we never grow weary and tired of extending our hands where and when we can.

God bless you and may your blessings flow straight to you, no matter how much they try to block them. Always remember that some people operate from a place of hurt and fear. Some people are competitive by nature and will do all they can to block your attempts at bettering your life. Hold no grudges against such people, just pray for their healing.

P.S. Keep that piece of paper sis and watch God’s hand at play in my life! None is greater than God.

The Flight Attendant | A very personal review

Watching The Flight Attendant at night is really testing my capacity to overcome certain fears. I hate gruesome scenes with a passion.

I find myself thinking of Kelly or rather Cassie as Penny (TBBT) 😂. I also find validation, oddly enough in the way she and Davey (her brother) remember their childhood totally differently. I have often faced criticism regarding how I remember my childhood, simply because other people experienced their childhood differently to mine in the same household, community, school, church… Both experiences are valid.
The filter with which we view what has happened to us is shaped by how we are wired and how we were molded by circumstances as we got acclimated into this world. I hope this makes sense.

I used to think I was a good person with a kind heart, until people told me that I have a messianic complex and a High D personality. I was shocked once when I thought I was helping someone but they felt that I was making them my charity case😳.

So when she remembers why she wanted to become a flight attendant (which she thought was to save lives), a different perspective is that she is drawn to and revels in chaos and destruction.

I guess, at the end of the day, we live our lives in a way that settles our consciences. Whether we lie to ourselves or we are just oblivious to what lies beneath the surface is a mystery that might never be solved.

This series kinda feels like watching someone’s JOHARI window exercise in moving pictures. The hidden self is always surprising to discover. May we be open to discovering more about ourselves and be kind and gracious enough to not judge ourselves harshly.

Good Morning friends, enjoy the rest of your week. Be productive. Be open to listening. Take care. 👍

The Human Side of Minister Lindiwe Sisulu| #PhoenixMassacre

This is by no means a blue ticking of the wonderful work and powerful voice of EFF’s Mam’Khawula. I praised her on Twitter, in case you wish to call me out. The purpose of this post is to reflect on this article: https://www.iol.co.za/dailynews/opinion/our-country-cries-out-for-change-ad30128a-86c3-4186-b5ca-f75c902377b1

If Lindiwe Sisulu doesn’t survive the looming cabinet reshuffle, I won’t be surprised. 👆this will be the reason.

Whether this is politicking or her showing up for the people in need, I really don’t care. Reading the article introduced me to a human being, who is able to put herself in somebody else’s shoes and be brave about it. I salute her.

If the ANCWL were a credible, living, thinking body, they should have pushed for a female deputy president, since former AU head NDZ’s proximity to JZ disqualified her as a presidential candidate despite her education, proven track record as a leader and struggle credentials but asikho lapho.

“Barbie doll” as she’s famously known has set herself apart by doing this, regardless of the intentions behind her actions. If she has presidential aspirations, I would actually back her based on this gesture alone.

This is what the government (or at least the ANC) ought to have done have done from the beginning.

CR should learn from this beautiful woman how to interact with people and how to make people feel comforted, seen and heard in their time of grief.

May we all grow the bravery of Mama Madikizela-Mandela and emulate her in supporting the persecuted and downtrodden as Sisulu is doing. May we also have the fierceness to embrace our delicate femininity and get dolled up if we want, just like our “Barbie doll”. Happy women’s month!

#PhoenixMassacre was a crime and #RaceWar. It should not be blue ticked. #ethnicmobilization happened when SAPS-guarded ammunition grew legs and found its way to Phoenix without a trace to be used to massacre black people.

Vuka darkie!!!! Racists don’t care if yoi are Venda, Shona or Xhosa, it matters not. Your blackness is what they despise.

About Life with Kelly season 2 episode 12| I need more episodes!

Life with Kelly season 2 episode 12 left me feeling like I need more episodes! Thanks @KellyKhumaloza for opening up your life to us.

These therapy sessions with Kelly and her mom are very useful for me. I observed that the mom is actually scarred from her traumatic childhood and she is holding on to it for dear life. Perhaps she’ll never heal from it.

Kelly is also carrying scars but trying to break this cycle of dysfunction with her kids. I pray and hope that she succeeds.

I hope more black people will be interested in therapy and pursue it after watching this show. For most of us, we see the dysfunction and try to survive the traumas visited upon us but hold on to the victimhood and use it as an excuse to behave deplorably.

As much as we understand that our parents are /were unhealed and that there’s nothing we can do to change it, we should actively seek to become better parents and people. It’s a pity that ‘abantu bazothini’ only applies to behaviors involving outsiders and not the little things we do to break our children behind closed doors.

Nothing is more debilitating than reporting abuse to a parent and have them dismiss or even worse, laugh it off. I am not saying that parents should not have favorites but it would help if they could hold their favorites accountable once in a while. Especially when the less favoured child is being dragged through the mud and hurt.

My wish is for Kelly and Zandi to reconcile and for peace to prevail in their family and for all families to try and work together for the sake of progress. No one should have to be a doormat or a domineering figure, regardless of financial muscle. Egos are at the root of most family squabbles in my experience.

Side note @showmaxonline : Maqhawe Ngubane must please redo the subtitles for this episode. Haibo imhlola! Idioms can’t be directly translated, they lose meaning. “Doer/ perpetrator” would work better than “manufacturer”, “object” should be ‘victim’ instead. Use it, don’t use it. Hire me to do it🤷🏾

This was my two cents worth about previous episodes:

“Kelly’s personal and spiritual journey is packed full of lessons and her kids are the cutest things ever. Thango serves me Tanaka vibes. Tells it like it is, sweet and outspoken. Christian on the other hand is sly as a fox. He loves his mom & feels like she is enough by herself.
I wish he would grow up loving and caring for his mother, and not be dismissive like we see when boys grow up and change how they treat their mothers.”

“Life with Kelly Khumalo is my escape every Thursday. The latest episode focuses on Wanda Baloyi, who has been missing in action for the past episode and a half.

It broke me wide open, wept like a widow over it and over my failed friendships. I say failed because, this year I decided to intentionally repair my friendships and to be there for my friends in a way that I wished they would be for me. It’s a work in progress.

One dearest friend broke her leg and wasn’t able to come visit mommy and I as she used to, another lost her mother and almost died herself. Another almost lost her husband and survived covid herself. My twin forced me to reconcile with another, who let me know that she felt rejected by me the last time she visited me (unannounced I might add).

What remains is that I have dear friends with whom constant communication is not necessary but the love is there (e.g. Miss Luh) and we can pick up where we left off, anytime.
I have a friend who checks up on me regularly and I appreciate it @mnakilezwanedlamini and I love you for it.

I have and continue to evolve as a person and a spiritual being. I am acutely aware of my tendency to lean heavily on my friends sometimes, even though I don’t disclose everything that I go through. Suffering in silence has been a norm for me since early childhood, it’s my default setting.

Over the years I have learned that a problem shared is a problem halved.
In recent weeks I found myself mediating between an ex and his baby momma, it drained me emotionally. At first I was chuffed that they trusted me to help them but it was a lot🙆🏿
This made me think about how draining it must be for this particular ex of mine (best friendesque), who is always available whenever I need help. I am feeling a bit guilty about leaning heavily on him, but sometimes he is the only one who truly understands most of the situations that I find myself in.

🥂To friends and friendships. May we never give up on each other.
Thanks my friends, all of you for being in my life. All of you are special and mean the world to me.

The Big Brother I Always Took For Granted | Sbusiso Mthembu – the eulogy

Lala ngoxolo Mvelase

I can’t believe he’s gone. I keep hoping that it’s a mistake or that I am having a bad dream.

In 2018, waiting for my uber outside Khanya House in Pretoria Central, I heard someone yelling my nickname. When someone yells out your nickname, you know that it’s somebody that knows you from way back.

It was him in his fancy car, sticking his head out, looking all suited up and proper. I had to cancel my uber and let him drive me home as instructed. He grilled me for no reason nje, just being a big brother.

Had I known that I was seeing him for the last time, I would have listened more and talked less. I probably would have given him the phone numbers of the person he wanted to reconnect with. I should have told him how proud I was of him and his achievements.

I gave him such a hard time back at varsity, he was our RA at Malherbe Residence. He was no angel by any stretch of the imagination but I put it down to immaturity. Whether he ever outgrew it or not, is a question for another day.

He made it all the way to Director. Talk about starting from the bottom, and working your way up.

African child, it is attainable. He is from Ndwedwe, went to rural government schools. He managed to study at a previously white university just as we were gearing up for democracy. Experienced the common problems associated with the political transition, changing power dynamics and race relations.

He did his MBA at the same university, as he was climbing the corporate ladder. He was serious about self development and took no shortcuts to success.
I am so defeated right now.
Rest in Power Sbusiso Mthembu. Your great strides live on. 😭

What happened to you | My take on chapter 8 and 9 of Dr Perry and Oprah’s book.

A screenshot of the book ‘What happened to you’

I am continuing with the book ‘What happened to you’.
I am now halfway through chapter 9.

I had decided to pause when George Floyd and BLM were mentioned. For some reason, probably because I watched the video of George Floyd dying and it was my first time seeing a person die, I lose it when I think about that incident.

The Zuma arrest, accompanied by all the fan fair that followed took over my mental space, and the #PhoenixMassacre broke me down all over again. The anger and frustration forced me to get over my writer’s block.

Dr Perry is talking about racism, implicit bias, which impacted our traditional healing, connectedness and rhythm negatively. Shout if you would like me to elaborate on this point.

One could argue that 27 years into democracy these things should not be factors in our daily lives, but unfortunately they are. When the colonization project replaced uQamatha/ uMvelinqangi with a white, blonde Jesus and associated all things good with him, they tricked our brains into treating and percieving white people a certain way and in turn treat each other horribly, because even though we’re black, blackness is associated with bad, evil, barbaric and savagery acts.

I am convinced that we can clear the path for the next generation. We need to stop looking at our cultures, customs and traditions as outdated, ungodly, idolatry and seek a deeper understanding.

Let’s seek knowledge, understand and demystify our cultural practices, principles and rituals, so that we regain what we lost and reverse the colonization of our minds.

Ciao friends! ✌️

Abandonment Issues | understanding why I am so needy.

My childhood in a snap.

Daddy’s lap was my spot (much like Sheldon’s spot) permanently, until it wasn’t.I found the source of my abandonment issues. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when it hit me.

I was a last born for 6 years. Spoilt and entitled. Daddy’s little girl.I still remember how he’d listen to jazz, tap his feet with me on his lap, bouncing about.The year I started school, my little sister was born. I love her with all my heart and I thank God for the wonderful blessing that she is in my life and in the family. She’s the mother of my child.Suddenly I was told “usumdala manje”. I stopped being special and by the end of 3rd grade, I was a full time middle child but in my head, I expected last born treatment. This is probably why I preferred hanging out with Khulu Manyova, my ride or die. She made me feel special.

Anyway, back to the abandonment thing, now that I know the origin, I am at peace with it. I am fully aware of my tendency to be needy, and from now on I will consciously monitor and correct my problems without projecting them onto the next person.That said, I am still not taking “bare minimum effort” from a partner, I won’t burden him with my needs though.

I can’t believe that I am writing again! It feels awesome!!!

Goodnight friends.

Apartheid | a successful project

I dare anyone to tell me that apartheid wasn’t a successful project!
We have black people praising Pik Botha in 2021, right here in South Africa. Black people not giving a thought to the black lives that have been lost unnecessarily in the past week, just because they’re of a different tribe.
We have the nerve to joke about shack dwellers and accept the harassment of the poor by the army and police.
We have white and Indian vigilante groups masquerading as community policing forum members, when all they’re doing is keeping black people out of ‘their’ neighborhoods and shooting them like game animals. Their forefathers came into this continent carrying no piece of land.

If we don’t get that a system which is biased against us is not for us, then we’re bound to spend our lives trying to fit in, instead of building our own.
Just because nobody talks about how we lived before 1652, doesn’t mean that we didn’t have our own systems or that those systems were necessarily bad.

Living in harmony with nature, understanding the heavens and how they affect us, specializing in certain trades, preserving generational legacies, being self sustained and trading fairly among each other without greed polluting society.

We don’t have to go back to the way things were before those dreadful boats interrupted our way of life but we could build from the ground up our own economy and our own industries, instead of going hat in hand, begging for jobs with our (NFSAS owing) qualifications and getting into debt with our LV, Red Bottoms, Town house, German car lifestyles just so we could show people that we have made it.
Not everyone is an innovator, but guess what, you could partner with one. We have way too many economists, accountants, lawyers, etc. for us to still be employees. If we’re competent at our jobs, what’s going to change when we have our own businesses?

As we rebuild SA, let us be cognizant of the fact that black people are still poor and suffering out there. Regardless of our privileged positions, we cannot advance alone. Let’s reach out and pull others up and stop the tear her down nonsense.

Shalom ✌️

South Africa is burning

Hey, I am writing again!

I have been struggling to write & post these past couple of months. I discovered that I hadn’t healed as much as I thought I had. Kept on getting triggered & I had to shift my focus inwards.

Ever found yourself questioning EVERYTHING? That’s where I was. So glad to be over that hump.

I want to register my disappointment with the powers that be in this country. The rioting, looting and senseless killing of black people is uncalled for. The lack of leadership is appalling & I am ashamed on behalf of the leaders, the media, and the rioters. Whoever planned this is heartless & I beg the lord to have mercy on his soul.

Let’s be clear, Zuma is no angel but the ego’s of Zondo for refusing to humor him and recuse himself, the sealed #CR17Bankstatements are not helping in this situation because we are left wondering why house arrest wasn’t an option for JZ and if the judiciary was bought by CR. A presidential pardon could have helped CR’s image & in quailing the violence. There are 171 people dead, unnecessarily.
Is this a pursuit of justice or something else? Will the efforts of the taxi drivers and owners be rewarded in any way, since they have stepped up and shown leadership (& killed noone in the process unlike the white civilians who have taken vigilantism to the next level)? Will ordinary South Africans recognize their Zuluness or is it just the looters & rioters who are AmaZulu?
The toxic streets of Twitter are littered with statements condoning the #RaceWar in Durban and to be honest CR’s ethnic mobilization comment is the cause of the #PhoenixMassacre.

Ramaphosa gave a go ahead & declared open season on us. Our skins are weaponized and it doesn’t matter whether we’re Zulu, Xhosa or Tsonga, the other races are shooting to kill with complete impunity. My Venda friend Takalani in Durban North is in as much danger as his friend Thami. It matters not that you are not umZulu to them.

A biased media is not helping the situation. Saint Ramaphosa has failed as a leader & has incited a race war, which he will never account for because he is exempted from any & all accountability & responsibility.

Both factions are wrong & unworthy to lead us! The ANC needs to reform from within. We deserve better.