Consent

Today I had a flashback. A priest that I love and respect once said (in my presence) that if a woman is over 30 and doesn’t have a child, he wonders how many abortions she’s had. This hurt and confused me!
Doesn’t the Catholic church preach chastity and celibacy?

Why do you preach one thing but expect people to do the opposite?
And why should women be dictated to about their lives and bodies? What’s wrong with choosing to not have children? What if the people you’re judging have fertility issues? What if there are other factors in their lives, which has led them to childlessness?
It’s funny that everyone wants to beat down a black woman and oppress her, but we’re trying to fight racism, xenophobia and homophobia together.

This is what triggered the memory:

We need to gather our lost brothers together. Let’s fetch them please! Gather 🙏your 🙏brothers🙏!
Women are not play things, at whatever age. Don’t inflict pain on a girl or a woman just because she falls outside of a certain age bracket or whatever else you have made up in your minds to justify your trashy behaviour.
If you wouldn’t want anybody to do it to your mom, sister or daughter DON’T DO IT TO HER.

If you think I am bashing all men, then you are one of those that need to be collected. Real allies exist and I have shared a few of their posts on my social media with the hope that you will be more receptive to the message if it is from a guy.

I chimed in, saying:

‘And for the record, just because you are married or dating doesn’t mean that she consents automatically. Even if her excuse is lame in your eyes, i.e. A headache or tiredness… No means No!
Oh and if you decide to go for it whilst she’s fast asleep or passed out, regardless of previously granted consent, you are a rapist.
To be safe, ensure that she’s of age; awake and sober and she is not hasitant. Don’t force yourself on girls and women.
Don’t beat them up. Don’t kill them.
Don’t play games with their lives. If your intentions are not good, leave her alone.
There are so many girls whose future prospects died the minute they fell pregnant and the baby fathers are living their best lives with no care for the lives they have condemned to poverty.

Today, I am calling you out on your bullshit and you know who you are. We have been silent for far too long as sisters, cousins, aunties, daughters, nieces, mothers and grandmothers.
STOP ABUSING WOMEN. WOMEM ARE HUMANS TOO.
DON’T BE TRASH.
#GBV #STOPKILLINGWOMEN’
Another ally whose message I concur with :

It is really scary being a black woman in South Africa in 2020. Let’s talk guys. 😢

Published by FabulousMeuJwara

I'm a dark-skinned black woman who loves life, fashion, food and books. I am a writer at heart. I am fat and fabulous. I enjoy traveling and exploring. I am creative and smart. Welcome to my world!

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