Unlearning what doesn’t serve me


Unlearning being a survivor and a strong woman, whilst embracing the vulnerability of victimhood!

The most popular definition I could find on the web for a victim was ‘a person who has been attacked, injured, robbed, or killed by someone else. : a person who is cheated or fooled by someone else. : someone or something that is harmed by an unpleasant event’ 

A survivor is described as ‘a person who is able to continue living their life successfully despite experiencing difficulties: He’s one of life’s survivors. a survivor of child abuse’

So what do you call a person who is not coping but doesn’t feel that they are allowed to be weak and to feel the emotions that have? Certainly not a survivor in my book, because to live ‘successfully’ inspite of your burdens doesn’t involve being fearful about expressing your true feelings and pretending to be okay when you are not. 

You cannot heal from the pain that you do not acknowledge. Whoever said it was politically incorrect to be victims was not empowering us, instead we got tricked into disregarding our own pain, thus blocking the healing process.

This is just how I feel, I did not read it anywhere. I am simply speaking my truth.

A woman can get raped on a Friday, cry herself to dehydration coma for the entire weekend and come Monday morning, she wears her prescribed smile and survivor posture as if nothing has happened and soldiers on.

Being a victim is not a sin, you’re not being negative, you’re simply stating a fact. If your husband beats you to a pulp whenever he’s stressed or out argued, you my dear are a victim. There are many more scenarios that you can think of, which apply to you. 

It’s women’s month, so Be as fragile as you want. Be as vulnerable as you want. Do whatever it takes to heal your body, mind, soul, spirit…. That is what it means to be authentically you. Own your story. Own your experiences. Own your pain. Own your dreams and hopes. Own your journey back to self after trauma.

Shalom ✌️

Published by FabulousMeuJwara

I'm a dark-skinned black woman who loves life, fashion, food and books. I am a writer at heart. I am fat and fabulous. I enjoy traveling and exploring. I am creative and smart. Welcome to my world!

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