Healing of Memories Part 5

I had a random memory flash of a mean boy I went to primary school with. I only  this week that his grandmother was a Jwara.

This person is now late, he died a few years ago. He is the reason I had an extra gate installed at home. He had no sense of boundaries.

He specialized at being teachers’ pet or more like impimpi back then. He’d snitch on people who have been in trouble at home, people who are dating & if someone bunked or ran away from school, he would chase them & bring them back. Oh the teachers would send him to the shops on a daily basis, probably why he was not a top performer academically 🤔

My mom couldn’t believe when I told her that these teachers used to collect money from us, to buy meat from the shop, which they cooked in our Std 4 classroom, full of hungry kids. 

Ms Mothlomi used to call me Ganpiki (Guinea pig) & Ms Nkukhu called me iStetelegu (I don’t know what it means). It was painful and embarrassing enough to be laughed at in class, but he made it a point to call me by these names whenever he saw me. Even at home, after school, on weekends… I would cry about it at night when everyone was asleep and I was always scheming about the best way to commit suicide because I couldn’t exactly tell my parents about my problems. Clearly I failed because here I am💃.

So when Nandi gave me the nickname of Snintshi in high school, I decided to embrace it and it lost its power. It quickly fizzled out. What does not kill us makes us stronger. I grew a thick skin as years progressed, and having Alice and Nhlanhla laugh at my outbursts and failed suicide attempts certainly toughened me up. 

I forgive him (the childhood snitch) and wish for him to rest in peace.

I have been advised, or rather told to put a positive story out for every negative one that I publish but I cannot force, nor can I fake positivity. I am on a journey towards healing and I refuse to skip steps for any reason. 

I am simply recalling stuff from my past. I will write about the positive stuff when I am inspired to, for now this is what I am writing about. This is where I am currently. This is a long winding road. 

Teachers have a very important role to play in their learners’ lives, it is a serious responsibility and I hope the educators of today are better than the assholes we had teaching us in primary school.

Secondly, bullying is wrong. Whether you do it at home, school, hostel or online, it doesn’t matter, nobody should be bullied period.

Thirdly, our brains are wired differently. The way people process negativity is not the same, even people who look strong enough to take it, might be suffering in silence. Let’s consider underlying psychological problems, you may end up sending a person to an early grave unnecessarily.

Published by FabulousMeuJwara

I'm a dark-skinned black woman who loves life, fashion, food and books. I am a writer at heart. I am fat and fabulous. I enjoy traveling and exploring. I am creative and smart. Welcome to my world!

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