How you doin’?
So this is where my thoughts took me after ‘Wendy Day’:
Our formative years are spent being trained to conform. You are labeled odd if you are not bubbly and giggly as a little girl, teachers tell your parents to send you to a special school when you are quiet in class. You have to play like other kids, you can’t sit in your quiet corner with a book. As an adult, you are labelled HARD & unfriendly if you don’t flirt and bet your eyelids at men when they come at you with disturbing sexual energy. Why?
Watching “Wendy Williams: what a mess” made me feel like I was a normal kid, the people wanting to box me into a mold of what a perfect little girl should be, are the problem. Being a loner is normal, Miss Wendy is normal, right?
Being yourself and doing you is what we should be teaching kids, says me (a childless know it all).
Also, we should teach that safety trumps politeness. When she spoke about her rape (I wish she’d named and shamed the perpetrator), I felt like someone should actually say this out loud:
When things start sounding and looking weird, leave! If they then chase you down and forcefully keep you where you were attempting to flee from, there’s clearly nothing you could have done to save yourself.
I am talking about victim guilt, you know that thing of going back in your head, replaying the traumatic event and going ‘what if I had done this or that…?’.
[You can read more about this here: https://lifecentre.uk.com/information-and-resources/dealing-effects-rapesexual-abuse/guilt-and-shame/%5D
This might not be of use to you but please tell your young cousins, sisters, nieces, neighbor’s kids, etc. If it starts feeling/sounding weird (it doesn’t even have to be a big thing that has been done or said), leave! It might also help to go live on fb or Instagram and let the would be perp know that the whole world is watching.
It’s also a good idea to send live locations to a friend (who can notify authorities should a need arise) when you are going to a party/date/ club. Do a “I’m still good” text every 30 min if you are with a stranger(s). This said, rapists will continue to rape people. There’s no full proof way of protecting yourself. Stay vigilant, detect perverts early and bolt!
Good morning friends.