Abandonment Issues | understanding why I am so needy.

My childhood in a snap.

Daddy’s lap was my spot (much like Sheldon’s spot) permanently, until it wasn’t.I found the source of my abandonment issues. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when it hit me.

I was a last born for 6 years. Spoilt and entitled. Daddy’s little girl.I still remember how he’d listen to jazz, tap his feet with me on his lap, bouncing about.The year I started school, my little sister was born. I love her with all my heart and I thank God for the wonderful blessing that she is in my life and in the family. She’s the mother of my child.Suddenly I was told “usumdala manje”. I stopped being special and by the end of 3rd grade, I was a full time middle child but in my head, I expected last born treatment. This is probably why I preferred hanging out with Khulu Manyova, my ride or die. She made me feel special.

Anyway, back to the abandonment thing, now that I know the origin, I am at peace with it. I am fully aware of my tendency to be needy, and from now on I will consciously monitor and correct my problems without projecting them onto the next person.That said, I am still not taking “bare minimum effort” from a partner, I won’t burden him with my needs though.

I can’t believe that I am writing again! It feels awesome!!!

Goodnight friends.

Published by FabulousMeuJwara

I'm a dark-skinned black woman who loves life, fashion, food and books. I am a writer at heart. I am fat and fabulous. I enjoy traveling and exploring. I am creative and smart. Welcome to my world!

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