Life with Kelly season 2 episode 12 left me feeling like I need more episodes! Thanks @KellyKhumaloza for opening up your life to us.
These therapy sessions with Kelly and her mom are very useful for me. I observed that the mom is actually scarred from her traumatic childhood and she is holding on to it for dear life. Perhaps she’ll never heal from it.
Kelly is also carrying scars but trying to break this cycle of dysfunction with her kids. I pray and hope that she succeeds.
I hope more black people will be interested in therapy and pursue it after watching this show. For most of us, we see the dysfunction and try to survive the traumas visited upon us but hold on to the victimhood and use it as an excuse to behave deplorably.
As much as we understand that our parents are /were unhealed and that there’s nothing we can do to change it, we should actively seek to become better parents and people. It’s a pity that ‘abantu bazothini’ only applies to behaviors involving outsiders and not the little things we do to break our children behind closed doors.
Nothing is more debilitating than reporting abuse to a parent and have them dismiss or even worse, laugh it off. I am not saying that parents should not have favorites but it would help if they could hold their favorites accountable once in a while. Especially when the less favoured child is being dragged through the mud and hurt.
My wish is for Kelly and Zandi to reconcile and for peace to prevail in their family and for all families to try and work together for the sake of progress. No one should have to be a doormat or a domineering figure, regardless of financial muscle. Egos are at the root of most family squabbles in my experience.
Side note @showmaxonline : Maqhawe Ngubane must please redo the subtitles for this episode. Haibo imhlola! Idioms can’t be directly translated, they lose meaning. “Doer/ perpetrator” would work better than “manufacturer”, “object” should be ‘victim’ instead. Use it, don’t use it. Hire me to do it🤷🏾
This was my two cents worth about previous episodes:
“Kelly’s personal and spiritual journey is packed full of lessons and her kids are the cutest things ever. Thango serves me Tanaka vibes. Tells it like it is, sweet and outspoken. Christian on the other hand is sly as a fox. He loves his mom & feels like she is enough by herself.
I wish he would grow up loving and caring for his mother, and not be dismissive like we see when boys grow up and change how they treat their mothers.”
“Life with Kelly Khumalo is my escape every Thursday. The latest episode focuses on Wanda Baloyi, who has been missing in action for the past episode and a half.
It broke me wide open, wept like a widow over it and over my failed friendships. I say failed because, this year I decided to intentionally repair my friendships and to be there for my friends in a way that I wished they would be for me. It’s a work in progress.
One dearest friend broke her leg and wasn’t able to come visit mommy and I as she used to, another lost her mother and almost died herself. Another almost lost her husband and survived covid herself. My twin forced me to reconcile with another, who let me know that she felt rejected by me the last time she visited me (unannounced I might add).
What remains is that I have dear friends with whom constant communication is not necessary but the love is there (e.g. Miss Luh) and we can pick up where we left off, anytime.
I have a friend who checks up on me regularly and I appreciate it @mnakilezwanedlamini and I love you for it.
I have and continue to evolve as a person and a spiritual being. I am acutely aware of my tendency to lean heavily on my friends sometimes, even though I don’t disclose everything that I go through. Suffering in silence has been a norm for me since early childhood, it’s my default setting.
Over the years I have learned that a problem shared is a problem halved.
In recent weeks I found myself mediating between an ex and his baby momma, it drained me emotionally. At first I was chuffed that they trusted me to help them but it was a lot🙆🏿
This made me think about how draining it must be for this particular ex of mine (best friendesque), who is always available whenever I need help. I am feeling a bit guilty about leaning heavily on him, but sometimes he is the only one who truly understands most of the situations that I find myself in.
🥂To friends and friendships. May we never give up on each other.
Thanks my friends, all of you for being in my life. All of you are special and mean the world to me.