Meu Jwara's World

I’m only on Chapter 4 of “What happened to you” & I feel like reflecting on a few people in my life.

Buhle, my baby girl. She is 11 years and 108 days old today. Yes, I count every day. The other day, she said she’d look after me in my old age. So in case you are wondering, I am sorted.

At every school that she has attended, she would tell them about her other mother who lives in Pretoria. Her teachers, friends and friends’ mothers knew I existed. Some met me at some of her recitals and graduation.

But even before she could speak, as early as 7 months, she knew that she was safe, loved and protected in my arms. She didn’t mind overnight visits without her mom. {Don’t get the wrong idea though, she adored her mommy, followed her everywhere, even to the ladies room from the time she could crawl.} As she grew older, she added spoilt and favored to the list.
I always have to think of things to say to explain to the others why she gets to go on some errands with me or watch videos on my black (not for kids) phone, etc.

[My relationship with Buhle reminds me of my relationship with khulu Manyova. That one was my day 1💞. May she rest in peace.]

In a similar way, a child who experiences the opposite of these, senses and knows not to trust the caregivers or figures of authority in his/her life, based on what the child has experienced, because young as they may be, children’s brains are functioning and able to form narratives that will guide how the children will interact with the world. I won’t bore you with the neuroscience behind it just yet.

Sr V, the sweetest religious you will ever find anywhere in the world!I remember how shocked Mama Octavia was when she saw me with Sr V, early last year. She warned that I would corrupt her. As if!This is one person who knows who she is and what she’s about. Other people’s opinions of her don’t matter. How she views the world is so pure and untainted and the world has no choice but to mirror her actions. I have seen her calm even people with road rage ngebhizi ya 16 December kuN3!She has this incredible way of letting go and carrying on as if nothing has happened. Very uncharacteristic of a umZulu. I am the total opposite in this respect. I have a bit of an ego, which she does not.

She’s very patient with people, even those that think they know it all and when they come back to ask for her help, with a smile she helps. The story of the little girl at the airport from the book I’m currently reading: #whathappenedtoyou reminded me of Sr V. My ever-smiling, sweet, generous, kind and caring friend.

I wish everyone could read this book. It’s incredible! I also wish to be more like Sr Victoria Sibisi, FCSCJ. I have got to learn to let things go and to not get so easily triggered. I must find my rhythm and figure out how to self-soothe.

My parting shot: Treat people well and remember that hurt people hurt people. Sometimes when we see aggressive behavior, we need not ask “what’s wrong with you? , but rather what happened to you? “.

This book resonates with me so much! I think my dearest friend Lizwi Mdolomba knows me better than some of the friends who have been in my life for the longest time. Probably because they met & befriended the inauthentic, people-pleasing or defiant me or even my know-it-all, out of touch dare I say arrogant former self. Thanks for the recommendation & for making it happen. My self help therapy sessions are going very well so far.
#whathappenedtoyou

The common narrative (+ the perspective of my cousin Nhlanhla) around Bhambatha’s rebellion reminds me of the stories my mother tells us about Ndoni KaMzoyi Khathi. Ndoni was a very colorful character in my mother’s childhood stories.

One of the stories that I find fascinating is his refusal to pay tax. In his words “mhla ngazthola ngiqhuzuka ngithola imali, ngiyoyikhokha ke intela”, this he would explain to anybody that the apartheid government would send to collect tax from him.

The idea that a person would

1. demand tax from you, out of the blue and take your cows as payment if you have no money.

2. use taxpayers’ money collected from natives to develop areas reserved only for people of European descent is more than absurd but down right evil.

It’s in response to this nonsense that Bhambatha had to revolt! He may have gone about it the wrong way but his heart was in the right place.

The taking away of assets (land and cattle) from the natives was no doubt to force them into slave labour. This is how we were forced to abandon our way of life. Our subsistence farming, hunter-gatherer and buttering systems were rendered null and void. But ke asiqhubekeni sizonde “abangaphandle” ngokusithathela amajobs ethu.

We fight over these jobs and hate fellow Africans for providing cheaper labor at ‘our expense’. I wish we could wake up, open our own enterprises and support each other instead of this ‘crabs in the bucket’ mentality.

That’s my 2 cents worth folks. Ciao!

Been binge watching Cheeky Palate because of episode 6 from season 1.

It’s an interesting show, which I almost didn’t watch because I don’t care for Phat Joe at all.I am learning new things and some people have actually shocked me. If you want to preserve your innocence, then this show is not for you.Episode 5 reminded me of Mrs Sithole from Bhobhobho. She attended one of our HCBC training courses eMission centre and the things that she discovered there shocked her and made her cry. I still feel guilty that she lost her innocence at one of my training courses. She was in her late 60s by then. May she rest in peace.I am also learning about people’s real lives, e.g. The chef Lentswe Bhengu is from a polygamous family in KZN. I have always assumed that he was from Capetown 🤷🏾I like how polygamy has been so normalized in recent years. Bab’ Ndabe explained how the Mvelase’s came up with the concept and how it was matriarchal in its origin. It was an interesting and educational episode.The adoption episode reminded me of 2008 and how I wanted to adopt twin boys but it wasn’t to be. 2008 was a hard year for me emotionally. Mzawa made me snap out of it in a way that only she could get me to do it. That one can very easily gather me together aqede ukutetema.I wanna suggest this show to certain people. If you get a showmax link in your inbox, just know that you are one of the ‘certain people’.Ciao!

Hamba kahle Ndlovukazi yesizwe. Imagine having to leave your own country and marry into a different culture, and lead people who speak a different language to you and possibly view life differently to you.

She was a brave girl!

She sacrificed her own life for the sake of our kingdoms. I know I wouldn’t have agreed to do it, had it been me. 250+ cows were paid in lobola. These came from the people she had to lead in her last days.Her marriage was necessary, not just to bear children of royal blood but to hold our hands as we go back to the roots we’d had to abandon due to colonization, Christianity and modernization.

Omama be Sphithiphithi are here to continue her legacy, hopefully whoever will ascend the throne, will continue with her women empowerment agenda and give these women the support they need.

Hamba kahle LaDlamini uyophumula, owakho umsebenzi uwufezile Hlubi.

Iba iso emantombazaneni nakomama ukwelamathongo. Uyalwazi usizi esibhekene nalo Make wetfu.

Wena wendlovu. Bayede!

 The other day my brother Mdu and I were talking about the chaos that follows the death of a leader.
Our father was a leader in his own right and didn’t require a title to do it. Even then, the people he worked closely with and trusted were the first to start with the chaos of scheming and greed.

Even beyond our nuclear family, when the leader of our clan Mr Mhlohleli Jwara (our great grandfather) passed on, the quiet succession battle claimed a few lives. Iscience yesiZulu (as our grade 10 isiZulu teacher would say) is real and very effective.

Not to bring up old wounds, but what is happening in the Zulu royal family is not new, not unique to the Zulus nor is it uncommon. The late King had to be moved to St Helena for his own safety and protection because of such.

I hope the memorial service will be televised. I am keen to read the faces of the alleged ‘killers’.
What is certain is that in the end the rightful person will end up being crowned.

Sengisika elijikayo nje, land thieves seem to have a lot of interest in the current state of Zulu royal affairs (based on the tweets I have come across). The idea that a monarchy, which existed before 6 April 1652 is somehow supposed to do things the European way because… (God knows what gives them the right to dictate 🤷🏾)