Appreciation post for Umntwana wakaPhindangene, uShenge.

 Don’t feel obligated to comment on this. This was written 6 days ago and is not an indication of political affiliation of any kind.

Prince Mangosuthu Buthelezi

In the morning he was lamenting the pain of losing the people close to him. He made it clear that he would much rather be the one resting with the ancestors instead of being here, dealing with the current situation (not verbatim).

He then reprimanded the inappropriate, jubilant singing and dancing in Johannesburg and went as far as relaying a message to the izinduna there to correct the issue.
I appreciate the seriousness with which he takes his responsibilities. Also being an elder means that you will be trying to correct something that only you classify as a problem, others around you would be wondering what the fuss is about.

Makuhlatshiwe eMaJwareni iNkosana jikelele yesizwe saMdambiso ubab’uSgayigayi uvame ukufika nenduna uMkhulu uNonkongolo. They instruct and correct the young men, who are now unfortunately heads of families (because our fathers were taken away from us too soon). These instructions are not always well received but very necessary, so that we don’t end up having parties, thinking senza imisebenzi.
Let’s appreciate our elders whilst we have them. Let’s also learn from them how things are supposed to be done. That’s how we will preserve our culture.
The end.

Is Nonku Williams the queen of #REALHOUSEWIVESOFDURBAN?

All hail, Nonku Williams!

My dearest online friends, I am having severe withdrawal symptoms. Let’s unpack Season 1 of the Real Housewives of Durban further, this time focusing on the viewers’ queen!

From the 2-part reunion, it would appear so. I still want to know who did the casting for this show. Yesterday’s episodes confirmed that the plan was to attack Ayanda Ncwane all along. From the time Nonku mentioned “the elephant in the room”, I knew that this show was trying to use Ayanda’s loss and pain for ratings.
This was in very bad taste. Poor judgment on the casting of Sfiso’s widow and baby mama. Pitting black people (women, mothers, Christians…) against each other was a wicked plot to begin with.

Kahlekahle, because Ayanda didn’t react the way they had anticipated in the first two episodes, they had to bring in the self-proclaimed Queen, Nonku’s mom to the reunion to try once more to get Ayanda to act out of character. I thought I would wake up feeling differently about this today but nope. Thank God Phupho was there.

Speaking of Phupho, did you catch the age-difference shade by Nonku when Ayanda said that she knew that Phupho was gay from when he was aged 2? Nonku was a very good pretender, until her true colors finally showed.

I think moghel wishes Sifiso had married her instead of Ayanda.  Sifiso adored Ayanda and made it a point that the whole world knew. And was it necessary to tell us that she was a virgin at age 21? What does Ayanda have to do with Nonku’s virginity?

Did anybody else cringe when they played the video call in the bathtub scene with Mr Atlanta? Nonku tries too hard. She wants the fame at all costs. If that’s what it takes to be crowned the queen of #RHODurban, Nonku is definitely it.

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The Real Housewives of Durban Season 1 Episodes 13 & 14| The long awaited two-part reunion

Dear online family,

Herewith, the review of Real Housewives of Durban Season 1 Episodes 13: Meh & Episode 14: Leave Ayanda alone. My two cents worth as usual!

I am more than disappointed at the Williams family. I am shocked and utterly disgusted. “Reality tv shows are perfect for people who have nothing to lose” – Wendy Williams.

Sfiso Ncwane was Nonku’s ticket to the show and it seems, she will continue to ride that wave every season. Episode 1 and Episode 14 are eerily similar! Ayanda has been the target from day 1. How much more is Nonku going to throw at Ayanda before she reaches breaking point? I hate it when people mistake kindness for stupidity.
I literally can’t stop crying. If there is 1 thing that Nonku Williams understands, it’s reality television. She done set the scene for #RHODurban season 2. At what expense though? Poor Ayanda. I feel for her.

Ayanda must stop playing nice and put her foot down. Demede!

On a lighter note, I don’t know why Sorisha wants to be Mnge😂, you don’t get to insert yourself into people’s friendships like that. Sorisori must rest.

KG really missed the reunion. I feel like of all the cast members, she had the most to answer for. I am kinda disappointed that she is not leaving the show.

Did Phat Joe really shade Mabusi dress though? Wow! Mabusi dominated the season but it seems production is in Nonku’s corner, just judging by the airtime she got. #LionsShare

So Nonku denied being friends with Mabusi once again. 4th time now. Not even Jesus was denied these many times.

Annie didn’t invite the ladies to her wedding and I think everyone is okay with it. I take it it won’t be part of Season 2, which begs the all-important question of why she should return for season 2. She brought nothing to season 1, except for the Yama and candles saga. Who even cares?

The set was Zulu culture themed. How tribalistic! Speaking of which, why do ‘born again’ people only want to involve themselves in our culture when it involves receiving money?
The whole Baby mama drama with Nonku and her family is a misuse of culture to frame the wicked, heartless, cruelty that they’re subjecting Ayanda to.
Let’s remember that Nonku is the one who wanted Nothile’s surname changed, now sekungathi ledombolo lingathwalwa uAyanda

In anticipation of the Real Housewives of Durban Season 1 Episode 13| The Reunion Part 1

The Real Housewives of Durban Reunion loading….

Showmax disappointed us on Friday. The reunion had not been uploaded, they probably hadn’t even shot it by then.
Episode 12 was so tiring and annoying to watch, so I was really looking forward to the reunion drama.

As we wait patiently for the #RHODurban reunion, there’s a rumor that KG missed the taping of the reunion and might not be returning for season 2. Annie can also go yazi, Sorisha (the Chrystal of Dbn) too. There I’ve said it!

Mabusi must be given full Housewife status though! Does she have to be married, in order to be cast as a housewife? I bet not, because Annie is not married.
So my Friday is off to a boring start until the tweeps made it interesting with #RHODurban trending.

In anticipation of the Real Housewives of Durban Season 1 Episode 13 The reunion Part 1, Here are some of the questions I would like answered:

Nonku Williams

1. To Nonku: Now that the elephant in the room has been addressed and wine launched 3 times, what can we look forward to from you on season 2?

2. To Ayanda, Nonku and LaConco: When are you going to apologize for laughing at Mabusi’s yoni steaming business. Now that you have had the opportunity to watch the scene and see how badly you behaved & how mean you were towards Mabusi?

3. To Annie and Kgomotso: Do you watch the Real Housewives of Potomac and if you do, who are your favorite cast mates there?

4. To Sorisha: having watched back the whole season, did you pick up a pattern of behavior by some cast mates towards you vs towards the other cast members? How do you feel about being idolized?

5. To Mabusi: Will you return for season 2 if you are not given Housewive status? If yes, will you be consistent in putting your foot down whenever someone tries to disrespect you?

Let’s have some fun, add your questions below!!!

Did the ladies show us enough of their personal lives this season?

Do you think Ayanda Ncwane is tribalistic?

Do you think Annie gave us enough content this season?

Do you think KG will make it for Part 2 of the Reunion?

Do you think Phat Joe is the right host for the reunion? If not, who would you have picked? Moshe Ndiki or Som Som?

AmaBishop Season 1 Episode 8 Reaction

AmaBishop Episode 8: Phiri’s absence & Fresh faces are a refreshing change to the panel

AmaBishop Episode 8: Fresh faces & familiar ones return. Phiri sat this one out .applause *
Maponga as usual, asked the philosophical questions that have gone unasked for far too long.

After Maponga left, the conversation was a bit more Faith-centered. The Zion Bishop uBab’Shabalala explained sacramentals perfectly. He impressed me today and I liked that he was given a decent amount of airtime.
We had two female pastors on the panel. I hope they will return and be given the space to express themselves.
‘Foreign’ pastors were there to justify and explain why they were sent to the southernmost part of Africa. I wish all these racist Irish pastors would also be summoned to answer why they still feel the need to be missionaries in Africa, because let’s be honest, the African church is fully formed and doesn’t need further colonial input. Too personal?

Oh well. There goes my two cents worth y’all. #AmaBishop

AmaBishop Episode 7: “holy water”

It was the most boring episode so far. Makhado was there, telling the same old story he shared on Abafundisi and CRL commission, nothing new really.
The anonymous person who was talking about water from mortuaries didn’t tell us who the alleged pastors are who use water that corpses have been bathed with as ‘holy water’, so the point of his identity being withheld is not making sense, since he wasn’t naming anyone.
Phiri was there as per usual, contributing absolutely nothing pertinent to the discussion.

There are things that need serious theologians to explain and this show has let us, the viewers down by not casting the net wide enough, in terms of panelists.

I am slowly but surely losing interest in this show. The lack of direction, combined with the superficial manner of discussing serious and deep issues of faith is disappointing.

That’s my two cents worth, or maybe 1 cent !

Real Housewives of Durban Season 1 Episode 12 Recap & Review: Mabusi and flowers don’t mix!

    Last episode before the reunion.
    The most eventful episode of #RHODurban to date!

    It picks up from the L shaped table dinner and the host is having a massage (& Annie) whilst her guests are sitting around, feeling cold, waiting for food.
    (I feel like Nonku has played all her cards and left the audience feeling like that’s it, she can exit the show. She brought the ‘elephant’, professed her undying love for Sfiso, reunited Nothile with her brothers, visited Sifiso’s grave, launched her wine multiple times, introduced us to Mabusi, her sister, mother, father and Brenda. Cried about her abusive ex husband.) Did I miss anything?

    Anyway, Ayanda bluntly pointed out the obvious, i.e. that Nonku is a lousy host, a bone which KG carried energetically but yielded zero drama. KG thinks that Ayanda & LaConco were fighting with her. I saw none of that. She let them know that akabasabi😂

    Did Mabusi’s flowers not end up on the floor by Nonku’s door! 😂

    KG & Sorisha had a catching up session, and yes Sorisha is a mean girl too. It pains me to say this.
    Phupho brought Ayanda some more fashions & they had their own catching up session with LaConco.

    There were too many activities and these could have been used as team building but nope, they were just for fun🙄. Hiking, zip lining in the scorching South African sun… No thanks.

    They had dinner with Siba at her restaurant. Nonku called LaConco iqaba, but I don’t think LaConco will be insulted by that. Nonku went around the table kissing everybody’s bottoms. So unnecessary and fake.

    There was a 3rd launch of Ashes to Beauty🙄 LaConco pulled a KG with her eye rolls, yawns and just a demeanor of disinterest. I was so annoyed. Flowersgate lifted the energy in the dungeon. It seems Annie and Nonku are really becoming close. See what a little ass kissing can do for you!

    The bikers were a big hit with the ladies, especially Ayanda, she jokes around too much about being thirsty that one. Upon arrival at the harbor on those majestic motorbikes, they bordered the boat and had fun eating, drinking and dancing. This concludes Season 1.

Healing of Memories Part 10| Bullying and suicidal thoughts

This is a story about my struggle to cope with bullying at home and at school and how I couldn’t handle kindness and caring, it felt strange to me.

This is also a shout out to my crazy cousin and retired nurse, Mrs Khishiwe Ambrosia MaMzobe Duma.

This is my beloved cousin uMrs Mbro Duma. 12 years younger than my mother. My mom is her dad’s youngest sister & her mom is my dad’s oldest sister. And Yes, lobola was paid both ways!

She visited me in hospital when I was 12. See, that year was super hard for me. I was a 7th grader with no shoes. My friend, Sphindile often went to school barefooted in support of my situation.

I got cut on the foot by a rusty wire and the sore got infected, I think sepsis is the correct medical term. Nobody really took notice of it until I had a fever. My mom thought it was tetanus and she sprang into action in panic mode because she once lost a colleague through it, locked jaws and all. The hospital sent her to inform her family, which traumatized her further.

Mommy worked night shift, which meant she worked 1 week & was off the next week. She had to go back home and leave me admitted in hospital. Luckily my cousin Mbro worked there as well. So she visited me in the ward & I cried uncontrollably. I was used to harshness, not concern & care. Her kind gesture broke me down and left her puzzled. I was still semi-mute at that time. I only gave short answers to questions, nothing else. I was so embarrassed by the crying that I turned my back to her for the rest of the visit. Being seen was something new to me. Save for my grandmother MaNyova, who I had just discovered wasn’t my dad’s biological mother that same year, I had never felt like I mattered to anybody else.

It was at that age that I started thinking about suicide & concocted many stupid schemes, which clearly failed because I’m still here.

It’s hard enough dealing with kids who are bullies, teachers grabbing you by the collar of your uniform and threatening to smack you across the face if the tears welling up in your eyes do not vanish.

Lufuno’s death brought back these memories from decades ago. I even remembered for the first time a girl called Gco Nene, who extorted money from me for weeks in the 8th grade at Gobume High School.

When you’re bullied from the time you get up to the time you fall asleep and nobody seems to understand your pain or even recognize that what you are going through is painful, you start to feel like perhaps your existence is not necessary, in fact perhaps without you some people will find happiness and whatever it is that they feel deprived of, because you exist. I have now realized that as a ‘them problem’ and not my problem. It is possible for people to project their inadequacies on you and make you feel like you are the reason they are not doing well in school or at work. Instead of leveling up, some people wish others could level down and not ‘show out’ at their expense.

I have let that stuff go & dealt with it but I feel like it’s not enough for me to have gotten over it, there are lives to be saved out there. I might not personally have the skills set to do it but surely I could play a small role. Even if that role is to let others know that things will eventually get better, by sharing my story and exposing my closely guarded lived experiences.

#mentalhealing #mentalhealth #stopbullyingnow #JusticeForLufuno

Why are we okay with poor quality of services | the case of Glenread flat under Trafalgar Management

Broken elevator at Trafalgar managed Glenread flat in Pretoria

My dearest friends, there are famous Zulu sayings we use for circumstances such as these: “ukuhamba ukubona futhi kuzala induna.” Asitolikwake bantakwethu!

I laugh at myself for all the angry emails I wrote to City Property when we spent 8 months in 2017 without a lift and that time I was renting a flat on the 3rd floor.

When I bought my own flat, the building was supposedly managed by Trafalgar at a very steep price. My levies were about R5000 per month, including a double garage and CSOS contribution (yes on top of the bond and utilities).The lift never worked normally for a period longer than 7 consecutive days. It was forever broken like this (picture above) and Trafalgar didn’t even care to reply on queries about the lift.

I began to notice a pattern. When a flat owned by a white person was getting a new tenant, the lift would be fixed but it would break down as soon as moving was done.

The broken lights on corridors and stairs, broken windows, a dripping of sewage at the main entrance foyer, uncollected trash, unmanned mailbox, general dirt and grime in shared areas had my blood boiling for the entire time I was living there. I was accustomed to City Property standards.

The fire escape stairs was my preferred route to and from my spectacular penthouse flat on the 7th floor. I had to get over my fear of heights quickly. I dreamt of installing a private elevator (if I were to win the lottery) like those you see in Clifton Beach, much to the disgust of my former colleague Maggie. “Why would you continue to live there if you had millions of Rands???” she asked, perplexed.

Community. The flat had 5 bedrooms and the tenants I ended up with were sweethearts. Elizabeth, Itu, Ntlantla, Msira, Meneer and Yellowbone were good kids. I knew that I had people around me that I could talk to. That was very important, considering that my work life was hellish during those times.

My desperation led me to the CSOS (Community Schemes Ombud Services). It’s a scam! You pay for the services and if your body corporate doesn’t cooperate, you get told that the time allocated to your case is finished, you need to pay some more to extend it.

I quickly realized that a good life is very hard to attain as a black person in South Africa. You end up having to scream & fight, to get the most basic of things. Renting seemed a much cheaper and stress-free option. Our complacency is what makes companies like Trafalgar get away with charging exorbitant levies for property management but not lifting a finger to do any managing of any kind. Their condescension makes it worse. When a building is occupied by over two hundred people and only one person is demanding services, it appears as though the odd one out is just being uppity for no reason.

If I am paying 30k a year in levies, there better be no overflowing bins on the corridors. There better be a security guard 24/7 guarding the property and ensuring access control.

AmaBishop Season 1 Episode 6 Reaction: It runs in the family.

AmaBishop Season 1 Episode 6: It runs in the family.
Tresford Bushiri (Durban) and Kemar Mkhize (Pietermaritzburg) were the alleged perpetrators on this episode.

The young girl who got raped at 17 years of age detailed how the ‘man of God’ went about luring her in through facebook (promising to help her with her business), raping her and paying her 4800 rands as a so called blessing. The lingo they use in that church! One would need an ECG dictionary to attend, it seems. Not that I would ever want to attend.

My question though is, who is teaching first time church goers the protocol to observe when you are interacting with the prophet (or whatever title they use)? I wish someone had asked her and Farai this question.

I also wondered why (in school) we were only taught ‘fight’ or ‘flight’ but not ‘freeze’, because it does happen. In fact it happens more often than people think. And by offering a payment and insisting on it, the perpetrator is already preying on your mind and building a defense strategy. “It was consensual, I even paid her for it!” is what they would say. These Bushiris have perfected their craft or is it witchcraft🤷🏾

Farai, was a young man who used to work for this Bushiri fellow. He was given US$10k for his troubles. Word on the street is that he got 2 million rands according to Maponga. His fiancé was also one of the victims he said & then changed and said that she made her choice🤷🏾. I honestly didn’t know what to think.

This show needs to bring in lawyers and cops who deal with such cases, to explain to the audience and advise what victims should do in such circumstances. Perhaps instead of having useless Phiri and radical Maponga as panelists, they could bring in useful guests like the social worker and Sihle Sibisi as they did today.

Sihle brought a woman from Pmb, whose mother and two nieces were butchered by a pastor, who was advised by isangoma allegedly to do it in order to get promoted in his church. He is in custody, awaiting trial because his bail was denied.

If you have to kill for it, it’s not for God. Whether it’s a promotion, an election, etc.

This was heartbreaking and gut wrenching. It got me questioning what the point of this show is. Could it be to shock us with these horrific stories, just for ratings? Why are they retraumatizing victims? What will they gain by it?

Nimrod and Maponga grilled Farai so much about the alleged 2 million rands and left me wondering where this energy and vigor was when they visited Zondo.

Nimrod and Phiri went on to address the right of reply and Phiri’s inability to ask hard questions because these pastors are his peers in the profession. I call BS on all of that! They didn’t even try to get answers out of Zondo. If Phiri is production, let him deal with booking guests for the show and not sit on the panel, it’s not like he contributes much on the panel anyway.