The Wife Episodes 10- 12 Review| The Majola Brothers are back with a plan

 The Wife episode 9 left us reeling and triggered, rightfully so. Hlomu got beaten to a pulp by her taxi driving, cash-in-transit robber and stalker of a boyfriend. Episodes 10-12 dropped this morning and the Majola Brothers are back with a bang! Qhabanga no Sbu did the things. The action scenes are always very well executed!

The stalker vibes of Mqhele really got me triggered. If you have never had a stalker, you won’t understand how scary it is.

True story:
One time, as I opened my door to throw away trash after peeling and chopping veges for supper at Lisa’s Place (a supposedly secure apartment building), the person (stalker) pounced on me. He must have been standing there for hours, just waiting for me to unlock my door.

He used to show up everywhere I went, shops, work, church, the movies… I had to ask Dave to come walk me from the office to my place at one point, which was a distance of about 300 meters in total.

One time the dude followed me into Khanya House, Aus Evelyn (the receptionist) was so terrified and so was I. He ran out as soon as he saw her. He found me on LinkedIn recently, Lord when will it end?

Anyway, back to Mqhele, camping outside the Dladla home in KwaMashu of all places. I would have called the community policing forum and my whole clan to come and deal with him.

Imagine even after that beating by Hlomu’s dad, he persisted. Hayi ngeke. Dude has no home training. The book talks about Hlomu’s dad being abusive to her mother. You see that the things we tolerate become the norm in the kids’ eyes and it hurts when they repeat those destructive cycles.

When the Majola brothers revealed all their receipts (a whole TRC folder) to Mbodla/Vilakazi (Doja Cat’s dad), I felt like they were not being strategic, but the way they orchestrated that robbery was epic!

I think Mqoqi’s a goner. I don’t like the guy they had casted, so I am not shaken up about it. Dude’s annoying af.

Makoti Hlomu, because of leftover take aways, has forsaken her own home with all the comfort, support and love. She is returning to a ‘home’ with so much turmoil, violence and restlessness. This is not a decision I would make, personally. Knowing your worth is not for everyone. It gets lonely at “I know my worth” station.

As a parent, how would you feel if your daughter chose a man who beats her over your love and protection? If you have stayed with an abuser and set that example for her, would you feel guilty? If you’re an abusive husband, how would you feel about your daughter choosing to be with an abusive man?

So my last question is, if we attract men who are like our fathers, why have I been so unlucky in love? 🤷🏾

#StopGBV #stopkillingwomen #LeaveAbusiveRelationships #YouAreNotAPunchingBag #TheOnlyTrueApologyIsChangedBehaviour

Dare to dream| Movie Review

Based on The Secret, Dare to dream is such a good movie. Katie Holmes is grossly underrated. Katie can act!

I have always believed in the power of the mind and for a while, I was able to manifest things into existence until I lost that ability. I have different theories about losing my gift to manifest my dreams into reality but let’s save it for another day.

So, I was gifted the book by a former colleague in February 2019. I had always wanted to read up on THE SECRET, having watched Oprah dwell on it for years. I had read different articles and books describing the same philosophy. At some point my friend Sizakele Zwane was obsessed with the power of attraction and speaking things into existence and she always encouraged me to think and speak positively.

I even made vision boards and dream books, to help clarify for my mind what it is exactly that I want. Some have materialized, some have come to pass and there’s some that are hopefully still on their way to me. May be I move around a lot and the universe’s GPS is still recalculating🤷🏾😂.

I got a call from an old friend a few hours back and he has no problems landing whatever he sets his sights on. He changes jobs like nobody’s business, uthi unogcobo🙄 and I can’t argue with him about it because it’s his firm belief that he shall attract whatsoever he wants into his life and it happens.

I feel like I’m not yet back in alignment with the powers that be, but I am trying to realign. Manifesting was such a breeze in my life once upon a time. Talk about effortlessness. It shall all be restored in Jesus’s name Amen.

The Wife Episodes 7-9 | The red flags you ignore 🚩

Just finished watching The Wife episodes 7-9 on @showmaxonline. Listen, the red flags you ignore will surely catch up with you.

All the signs were there. From the time Mqhele disrespected passengers just to have an ice cream date with Hlomu, to the stalking, beating up Sandile, everything has been pointing to Mqhele’s character being flawed. That’s the thing about whirlwind romances.

These episodes were about Nqoba and Mandisa’s dysfunctional relationship. It fascinates me that people who seemingly uphold and value culture are the very same people who desecrate it.

Perhaps I am biased as a woman, but when a man has to be forced to pay damages for a child they claim to love, it just confuses me. Much like someone who spends all their money on booze when they know full well that they have kids with an unemployed woman.

Had Mandisa not changed Ndumiso’s surname on the birth certificate, things wouldn’t have been rectified culturally. This whole thing of being in a long term relationship with someone and even having kids together with No intention of ever marrying that person is pure evil. It’s not a woman’s duty or her family’s for that matter to ensure that you do right by her and the child.

Things have gotten so messed up and somehow the mess has become the norm. Manipulation and love potions have become common practice in relationships because men are allowed and even celeebrate for using and abusing women.

The Zulu brothers could be forgiven because they grew up without parents and had only Nkosana (with his own traumas) to guide & protect them. For those who grew up with both parents in a loving marriage, what’s your excuse for the messed up things you put women through?

Women abuse in all forms must be condemned with the contempt it deserves. Let’s have a conversation about this. It’s the only way to #StopGBV.

The Wife Episodes 4,5 and 6 Review | The violence

My ddearest friends and followers, here is my two cents worth about the latest #TheWifeShowmax chart topping telenovela.

It is nice to see the Zuma sisters working together and supporting each other, I am talking about Gugu, Thuli and Thuthu.

3 more episodes (Episodes 4-6) were made available on @showmaxonline from 5am on the 18th November 2021. Made the mistake of assuming that I would watch #thewifeshowmax at midnight, kept on restarting my phone because I didn’t know about the 5am thing. Imagine wasting your night time data on some other stuff because at 5am, it expires🙄🙆🏿Anyway, the violence on this batch of episodes is on another level. On par with the reality of the taxi-owners’ world.

Nkosana kills Majola, and Mqhele kills the body guards… Sambulo does a solo job, killing a few more guards/hitmen in the Majola camp. Great acting and directing!

Hlomu gets attacked covering a protest, and the Zulu brothers cause chaos at the hospital. In Hlomu’s shoes, I would have felt trapped. Imagine what could have happened if she wasn’t attracted to Mqhele 🤔. I am so worried that this series is normalizing toxic male behavior. I feel like a conversation needs to be had after each airing. We’re missing out on teachable moments.

The first visit to the Zulu house is not even a discussion, it just happened and Hlomu is acting like it’s normal behavior for someone to take you to their gun-crazed, testosterone-filled home without your permission. I can’t help but think about what would have happened if Hlomu didn’t want to be there.

The violent bullying of Dr Sandile into leaving his home left a bitter taste in my mouth. Fine, take his fiance but don’t throw him out and beat him up. The man did absolutely nothing wrong. This hooligan behavior should not be glorified and this stereotype about black men need not be reinforced. It makes for great television but beyond that, it is damaging.

Hlomu losing her virginity was too much for me to watch, the dialogue made me cringe and the scene was too explicit for my liking. We didn’t need to see her boobs. @stainedglasstv1 don’t mind me, I am a prude.

There was plenty of entertainment value in these 3 episodes, I am just worried about the possible unintended and undesirable after effects. It would do everyone a boatload of good to be proactive in mitigating the negative impact of this storyline.

We still need to #StopGBV and to educate society about consent and accepting a NO.

Ciao!

The Wife| Perpetuating Zulu Taxi Driver Stereotypes and Romanticizing toxic masculinity or just an entertaining local drama?

The Wife on @showmaxonline

The Wife on @showmaxonline is quite entertaining. Sloppy with the details as we have come to expect from Gugu Zuma-Ncube’s productions, e.g. ZULU TAXI ASSOCIATION sticker is just wrong. I had a “who moved my cheese” moment the first time I watched episode 1 of the 3 that were made available so far. I wasn’t the only one by the looks of these social media comments:

I just have to keep reminding myself that it’s “Inspired by and not based on” the Hlomu book series. That is how I am conditioning my mind moving forward. Yes, I am going to be watching the whole thing.

I have been contending with this in my head since Thursday night because I read the books and know the stories but the telenovela is showing something different. Like, what happened with the Cressida, black tracksuits, etc.

We’re supposed to believe that Hlomu is a virgin, engaged and cohabitating with her fiancé and that she is capable of kissing a smoker, whilst the fiancé is in the bathroom and the fiancé doesn’t smell the cigarette in her mouth… Okay. It seems that the writers are confused about who and what type of a person Hlomu is.

I was imagining being followed around by a taxi-driver, cash in transit robber of a stalker to work and place of residence… It’s super scary and should never be romanticized.

To those who haven’t read the books, watch the series first and enjoy it before reading the books. If you have read the books but haven’t seen the telenovela yet, please forget about the books and consider it a different story altogether, that way you won’t be frustrated.

I mean no disrespect by this but I wish that writers, directors and producers could respect the talent of the actors and the people who casted them. This story could have been better than this. The casting was perfect, the acting is on point, the story is not thought through and cohesive enough in my opinion. My advice to the team: Learn about how things work, don’t just make things up that don’t make sense or better yet hire people to help elevate the work from a skit to a believable telenovela.

We need Shonda Rhymes kind of writers in this country. We also need for people to research things properly. Hhayi kabi.

How do you tell real people from fake ones? | A minion meme so accurate

The poignancy of this meme

I too wish I could hold people up to the light to tell if they are real or fake, because a fake person can:

1) pursue a relationship with you and keep it going for months or even years.

2) profess their undying love for you.

3) write poems and dedicate songs to you.

4) spend every weekend visiting you and getting to know your friends, family and even members of your church.

5) also flirt with your sisters and female friends and downplay it or dismiss your discomfort about it.

6) say mean things to you and take jabs in order to leave you with no self-esteem when they’re done with you.

7) be really sweet and giving at first, only to turn around and be an arrogant prick.

8) show up for you when you need them the most and then without any notice, vanish like they never existed.

9) give mixed messages and confuse you about their intentions.

10) tick all the boxes and stay in character until their true colors start showing.

Yeah, in the next life we gonna need those security features on people because clearly human beings can’t be trusted with free will.

Goodnight chomies!💋

Way Back When Wednesday #WBWW| Lessons from past mistakes

Sne and Meu at UNP, decades ago.

Oh this photo though! It brings back so many memories.

Malherbe Res Room 122. Sne @prisca.shezi10 stayed in Room 120 and Mathi (from Bhamshela) in room 124, which later became Slie Mbutho’s (yes from Mgai) room.

Circled in green is a pair of shoes, which weren’t allowed in the lab. I wonder why we were so drawn to them. In hindsight, they were hideous.

In blue is my pride and joy! Unfortunately my brother left it in his unlocked room at res over the holidays. I was gutted. My heart is sore just thinking about it.

I should have learned my lesson there, but nope I didn’t. Sadly, he didn’t either. When you let people disrespect your possessions, without as much as a yell or full-on tantrum, it teaches them to keep doing it, again and again. They get so used to it infact, that they feel like you owe them. Too preachy?

I remember when my brothers had broken the CD changer and I chose to have it fixed instead of a new cell phone. My then boyfriend was shocked that I was choosing a radio over a brand new Nokia 3310. (He gave me the phone anyway the following year on valentine’s day. 3 months before our break-up)

Too many details on this post!

My take home message is:

1) if your contributions are not valued, stop contributing.

2) I might not talk to my friends a whole lot but I love them and cherish the memories we’ve made together.

3) don’t let your brothers anywhere near the things that are dearest to you, don’t say I never warned you.

4) my dad handled my broken-heartedness like a champ, I was a weepy mess. I miss him & all his prayers.

5) if they can’t handle you when you’re unemployed and broke, don’t give them another chance when you’ve gotten a job.

The frosting on top of the cake| wisdom from flowing.love on Instagram

“Sometimes, you wonder why a man never sticks around long enough to learn you, love you, prove his love, wine and dine you, and learn the depth of you. Yet, all along, you left no space for him to do so because you rushed to the icing instead of taking time to build a strong foundation. Maybe society led you to believe that sex is the way to a man’s heart. Or maybe, you’re seeking pleasure to cover your pain instead of facing them. But, at some point, if you want real, committed love, you have to learn the right skill sets of building an actual relationship.

I’m here for you if you need help establishing a better love story. Direct message me the words “HEART” and l I’ll keep time open for us to have a heart to heart. I can help you attract the love you deserve, because you deserve that. Love you queen! Good morning ☀️🥰

#Sex #Purity #ToxicLove #PainfulLove #DatingTips #RelationshipAdvice #Coaching #Mentorship #BlackCoach #Sexual #SexyTime #WorthTheWait #Celibacy”

We used to say, “I wish someone had told me about this and that…” before social media, now there’s no excuse for not getting information and advice on how to go about this dating thing. The unwritten rules are now in black and white for all to see.

The post I forgot to share| Provincial Baby Shower for MaShelembe

This is long overdue. I am sorry. Better late than never right!


The only thing that can fight evil is goodness.
I couldn’t sleep because there’s a lot going on. I almost found myself crying in front of phambi kwabantu izolo. My recently discovered cousin uThulani simply asked “what’s wrong Meu?”. Maybe the care and concern in his voice is what got me.

A few weeks ago my friend’s mom cried at church and it was the talk of the village. Only a few days ago did I get an explanation from someone who is concerned that she’s going through a lot. I wanna go visit her but I’m scared that I will be adding to her sorrows.
Sometimes, inspite of our parents examplary lives and prayers for us, we go astray. Sometimes we are convinced that we are not lost, and that perhaps it’s our parents who were misled.

Don’t know why I’m crying right now.

Anyway, I used my insomnia to watch Makhosi’s Baby Shower. Ncumisa’s MC’ing was on another level. Macele’s speech was comforting and the fact that Musa was also there was cool.

Makhosi looked stunning, the hair and makeup was on fleek👌. One speaker spoke about being raised with love and I felt it.

There’s nothing more beautiful than women coming together to support another woman. Hearing Makhosi’s story and why she had to quit school was heartbreaking. The assumptions people made without knowing what happened to her is what we need to stop doing to people. So this has me all up in my feelings and it’s time to get up.

We live in an era of cruelty, where people are being forced to apologize for having darker inner thighs, because they’re being publicly shamed. We are not built like frogs, our thighs rub against each other. Leave us alone, let us be, please!

thickthighssavelives #lovethyself #womandla #mnakwethu #MakhosisProvincialBabyShower

womensupportingwomen #Polygamy #whathappenedtoyou

Umlomo uyadala| A Zulu proverb

Yebo umlomo uyadala!
Kuhle ukuphokophelela empumelelweni ngisho kunezinsongo empilweni yakho.

Ujoji akame kancane ngiyibeke kahle ngoMageba lendaba.

Akungathi ngoba umakhelwane esonga, ethi “izihlahla ziyokhula zigqibe izindlu” ube usuyayekelela kukhule ukhula ludlule uphahla lwendlu. Umuntu angacabanga ukuthi ukuthobela umthetho ukufezekisa izinsongo kepha kukusizaphi?

Umuntu okusongelayo usuke vele engakuthandi, engakufiseli impumelelo. Ukufezekisa izifiso zakhe ngokudedela impilo yakho ime nse akuzumenza akuthande, ungatholukuthi kuzomnika ugqozu lokuqhubekela phambili ngezinhloso zakhe ezimbi ngempilo yakho.

Iyezwakala lento engizama ukuyichaza?

Ngathi ngixoxa ukuthi ngifuna ukufaka amaCCTV camera egcekeni kwathiwa “bazokuzonda abantu, bafune nokukubulala”. Abantu abangafuni ukuvela kumasecurity camera vele abasuke beze ngokubi, benza okubi futhi bengifisela okubi. Ukungizonda nokufuna ukubulala yikho vele okubaletha isinyenyela emagcekeni akomunye umuzi.

Akekho umuntu ozokuthakathela ukuthi uphumelele ube nenhlanhla uthandeke… Ayikho futhi into ongayenza ukuyekisa umuntu ukuthakatha. Umthakathi uyilokho umthakathi akwenzayo.

Bhekisa konke kwakho kumdali wako konke. Uye ophezu konke nophethe konke. Bayekele bathakathe, bayekele bashwabule. Sukuma uphile eyakho impilo, ubheke eyakho inqubekela phambili. Ukuzihlukumeza ngokunaka abenzokubi nabafisa okubi empilweni yakho ukuzimoshela iskhathi.

Zikhulekele. Zikhuthaze. Zikhiphe kulengcindezi yokufuna ukulawula abathakathi. Beka impilo yakho phambili. Yekela izinja zikhonkothe, vele zikhonkotha imoto ehambayo.

Ibandla alithi Amen. 🙌